Seven years ago, Kristi’s husband died by suicide.
“I had a really hard time processing that. I knew I could either be a victim of my circumstances, or I can take this pain and figure out how to use it to help other people.”
Kristi helps many people through feelings of grief and unhappiness, including middle school students.
“If we’re going to stop suicide from happening, we need to educate our youth about mental health…they are grieving the loss of hopes and dreams as their proms, graduations, and award ceremonies are being cancelled.”
Kristi’s advice about how to connect with our teenage children during this pandemic (or any time):
Don’t force conversations. Ask “how
are you handling this?”
Observe changes in patterns and/or
Don’t mete out judgement or put them
on the spot
Don’t minimize their emotion
Validate that what they’re feeling is
“The best tool you can give someone right now is to listen. Let them speak, and don’t try to fix it.”
Kristi suggests there are signs to look for if you suspect someone you love is becoming depressed:
Changes in behavior
One-word (or grunts) answers
Not showering, or ignoring self-hygiene
Isolation, and/or no longer doing what they
Becoming someone you no longer recognize
During this pandemic we are all grieving structure, routine, social connection, purpose, and self-worth. Your self-care will be modeled by your children.
Kristi suggests the following tools to help you and your family get through your grief journey:
Play games the kids are interested in
Take care of yourself first and be in a strong
place to help others
Ask kids to teach you how to do something (like
play a video game)
“Now is the time to reach out and reconnect with the people you’ve been meaning to connect with. I feel best when I get outside myself and help other people. I let go of the things I can’t control.”
“Even those of us who are persistent in our self-practice and self-care can slide down that slippery slope. This isolation is disconnecting people in a way that’s different than ever before.”
Paulette Deckers, Board Certified Hypnotist with the National Guild of Hypnotists, was our guest on April 7th. She’s a practitioner at Ascension Living and Wellness Center in Lynnwood, WA.
So many of us are participating in online meetings now, which Paulette believes is isolating in itself. On top of that, we’re supposed to be physically distancing ourselves from everyone else. This may lead to loneliness, which may lead to boredom and/or depression.
“This government-imposed distancing is compounding the social ills our society had yet to resolve prior to this unprecedented time. We are also hyper-aware of everyone, and every activity going on around us. This can lead to anxiety.”
Todd called it the “Do I give a !@#$, or not give a !@#$?” situation.
To which Paulette replied,
“All emotions are good. They are there to let you know something needs to be addressed. Therefore, allow the feelings to come in, notice them, and let the energy of each emotion flow through you. Don’t take any judgement of it. Let it dissipate quickly.”
Throughout the interview, Paulette provided twelve steps or ideas to help us navigate through our emotions until life returns to our new normal.
1. Take care of yourself first.
If you don’t provide for your own needs, you will find it more difficult to care for others. By practicing self-care, you’ll be better equipped to care for your spouse, children, teenager, and so forth.
2. Look for the gift.
“The Beautiful Destruction.” There is a gift in each challenge. You may not be able to see it right away, but through time, patience, self-care and self-love, you will.
3. Recognize the opportunity to stop, pause, reset, and reevaluate what’s important.
That may be the biggest gift for each of us.
We may think, “I wasn’t really happy in that job. Maybe it’s a good thing it’s not there anymore.”
4. Go inward.
Figure out what you really need. Despite the social distancing, we can draw closer to each other emotionally. We may find a greater sense of empathy for others and their challenges.
“Prior to this pandemic we were all escape artists from our own life.”
5. Recognize that some of the things we thought we HAD to do, we don’t HAVE to do.
“We don’t ALL have to drive to a job every day. We can work from home.”
6. Reconnect with your family unit.
Reconnect with humanity. Find ways to forget your own troubles and serve those whom you love the most.
7. Think outside the box.
Think about renewal energy sources. Think about cleaning up our water supply.
“We now know we can have an effect on global warming by our individual actions.”
8. Set up structure at home.
Make plans and/or agreements based on your family’s core values. Find ways to alleviate frustration, unhappiness, and boredom in yourself, while keeping your children free of the same emotions. Help everyone feel productive.
9. Take online classes.
Finish that degree you’ve been procrastinating about. Learn a new skill. Get certified in an area useful to your career. Encourage your loved ones to do the same. Register your children for online public speaking classes with me, Jackie Bailey.
10. Recognize you’re increasing your resiliency.
Your creativity and innovative skills can be released and take root in new opportunities. You can do hard things!
11. Take this opportunity to practice greater kindness.
Search for ways to increase brotherly love, and concern for strangers. Find ways to serve in, and for, your community. www.JustServe.org
How can hypnotherapy help with your coping skills?
The many benefits of Paulette Deckers’ services include centeredness, a sense of being grounded, achievement of deep sleep, emotional balance, and decreased anxiety.
“Hypnosis, meditation and prayer are all essentially the same thing. Meditation is going inward. Prayer is going inward with a mantra, or communication with a higher source. It’s all self-hypnosis.”
In hypnosis, Paulette is simply the facilitator of your journey inward. She will help you still your mind, quiet your body, and focus on your breathing. You can connect to the power within you.
“So often we get into a place when we don’t give a !@#$, or we get into analysis paralysis and doubt our value. This comes up when we make comparisons to others. Perfection does not exist.”
Paulette can help you say, “I’m perfectly me. I am who I am, and I have something to offer through my life experiences and challenges.”
12. Love yourself.
Contact Paulette for details about her
programs, and how she can help you get through this uncertain time.
Lisa Erickson, author ofChakra Empowerment for Women, was our guest today. She realized, during a time of high demand in her career, that as a child she experienced the world energetically and didn’t know it.
After the birth of her first child, Lisa realized her energy had changed drastically, as did her relationship with her Chakras. Today, Lisa focuses on energy work for women, especially those women healing from sexual trauma and abuse.
“I had a health crisis myself that got me focused on women’s health and women’s energetics in particular.”
Energetics applies to any modality in which we’re working with our energy body. Chakra meditation, Reiki, Acupuncture and Acupressure.
“Our energy body is that interface between our physical, our physic, and our spirit. Working with Chakras gave me a language and a structure for processing my energy body.”
The second Chakra is the foundation of a woman’s energy body. It’s linked to procreation, creation energies, and sexual energy.
Men and women both experience problems with their first and second Chakras if they’ve experienced abuse.
In Lisa’s book, Cindi Dale tells the following story:
Decades ago, I was under the tutelage of a Belizean shaman. One afternoon, after he explained the curative properties of various jungle plants, he smiled and leaned toward me, ignoring my male companions. “I’m only teaching the men,” he whispered. “You are a woman. You are aware of what I am speaking.” I was puzzled and asked the shaman, a natural herbal healer, what he meant. “Women already know all things. Men must learn all things.” He paused and pointed toward my abdomen. “There, that is why. You have the power of the Mother—and of all mothers.”
Navel | Just under navel | Personal power, will, self
Heart | Center of upper chest | Compassion, balance, love
Throat | Center of neck | Expression, authenticity, clarity
Third Eye | Above brow midpoint | Insight, intuition, imagination
Crown | Top back part of head | Spirituality, faith, purpose
We can each learn which Chakras are blocked, and which are strong in us. Lisa uses a mapping tool in her book to help the reader learn how our own Chakras are operating. She does this through memory, visualization, and affirmations.
“I evolved the specific visualizations, affirmations, and use of emotional memory. I combine them into a how-to process. The reader can access whatever is most powerful to them.”
There is so much information gained from her book; and from our interview with Lisa. Please listen to the show and then dive right into the book.
Learn about prana and how it functions in your body, mind, and spirit?
Gain understanding of kundalini energy and the chakra system?
Susan Shumsky is the one to provide the answers!
Her interview with us was “third eye opening” if you will, and she caused me to consider new ways to feel peace.
Susan offered the following meditation right on the show: (you may want to record yourself vocalizing this meditation, then play it back for the meditation practice)
Get comfortable. Close your eyes. Take a nice deep breath. Breathe in, and let it go. And another big deep breath. Breathe in, and release. And a big deep breath of relaxation. Breath in, and completely let go. Let go. Let go. Let go. Let go. Let go. Let go. Let God. Peace. Peace. Be at peace. Be still and be at peace. Perfect peace. Perfect peace. Perfect peace. Be still and be at peace. Become aware that you are going into a deep, powerful, and profound meditation as you take a deep breath. Breathe in. And let it all go. Know that this meditation takes you into higher consciousness, and also into a state of connection with Spirit and divine energy. So take another deep breath to go deeper. Breathe in, and let it all go. Imagine now there’s a beautiful divine light above your head filled with glory; filled with energy. The most beauteous divine light above your head. This is the light of Spirit in whatever color you notice, or maybe no color, (whatever it is) there’s a beautiful, beautiful like radiant sun of spiritual light above your head. Now imagine there is a ray of that light, which is now coming down through the mid line of your body. A ray of beauteous, divine light comes down through the top of your head, all the way down to your toes. And it’s a beautiful, radiant, pulsating light. And that light begins to vibrate and radiate, and become more and more powerful. It begins to grow and expand. It begins to radiate and vibrate, and begins to expand to fill your physical body. That divine light is now radiating, vibrating, scintillating. It is a beauteous divine light that is beginning to just quietly, easily, and effortlessly fill your entire energy field. That light is now expanding, radiating, vibrating, filling, and surrounding your body. It’s becoming larger and larger, and growing in strength and intensity. That light is becoming so powerful and strong, and peaceful, and joyous, and vibrating and radiating, and filling you with greater and greater life force energy. You are experiencing this beauteous, beauteous light that’s filling and surrounding you, and creating an entire pillar of light; that is encompasses your entire body and your energy field, extending outward, larger than the boundaries of this physical body. It’s becoming so radiant, and vibrating into the atmosphere and creating love, peace, and energy that just vibrates all around you; filling you, surrounding you, lifting you, bringing joy and light and happiness (not only to you, but to everyone around you) You feel yourself being caressed and bathed in divine love. Divine love is now filling and surrounding you now. You are being immersed now in an ocean of divine love. You are being bathed in this beauteous ocean of pure love. You are filled with the gentle, soft radiation of divine light and the beauteous, loving presence of the divine; of your own inner nature, your true higher self. Which fills and surrounds us now with pure love. And you just enjoy this experience of divine love, which softens you and fills you with compassion and kindness, and generosity, and charity. And your heart is just expanding with divine love right here and right now. And you give gratitude to God for this beautiful experience today of meditation. You’re going to come out of meditation, but keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them. So, how you’re going to come out of the meditation is, you’ll just pretend you’re blowing out a candle like this. (Quick inhale and puff out quickly) Just do that. Coming forth from the level of spirit to the level of mind; knowing that your mind is now filled with this light and this love, and this gratitude you’re experiencing now. And blow out another candle. Knowing that your body is filled with robust health, and well being, and relaxation. Blowing out another candle, coming forth into the environment, but keeping your eyes closed. Knowing that you’re aware of the space around you, sitting in a chair or wherever your sitting. Just being aware of your environment; the sounds around you. And just beginning to come back, all the way out into the environment. Now blowing out another candle. Coming all the way out into inward and outward balance. Now just blow out another four candles, and then come all the way out into inward and outward balance, and then open your eyes. Coming all the way out. Opening your eyes wide. Wide open with your eyes. Now say this affirmation after me with eyes wide open: I AM ALERT. I AM AWAKE. I AM INWARDLY AND OUTWARDLY BALANCED. I AM IN CONTROL. I AM THE ONLY AUTHORITY IN MY LIFE. I AM DIVINELY PROTECTED BY THE LIGHT OF MY BEING. THANK YOU GOD, AND SO IT IS.
Linda Carroll was once teaching an interpersonal communication class. During the “debate” section of the course, Linda tried an activity she called PILLOW TALK. This simple activity proved to be the foundation for inspiration to write a book about love and relationships.
Each person sat on a pillow on the floor. The first person stated his/her argument. When he/she was done, the second person sat on the same pillow and took on the argument of the opposing party. It worked so well, Linda tried it later on as a counselor.
“I worked with a couple on “lock down”. They needed therapy. They were ready to split despite having a good thing going. They had an issue around money, and they couldn’t work it out. The guy believed money was a means to pleasure. He had it, he spent it.
His partner believed money was security. Starvation was her concern. They had been together for many years, but were ready to leave each other.”
When they first came into the room with Carroll as counselor, they began screaming at each other about their own points of view.
“I remembered PILLOW TALK and asked if they’d be willing to try something. I had them each talk about their position, and then they switched places. I had them each talk about the viewpoint of their partner as if it were their own viewpoint.”
The man began to share how he’d grown up in a migrant family and there was never enough money. He’d wanted a basketball one Christmas, and only received socks.
The woman spoke about her father and mother who were dreamers. They were always starting something, and always spent money they didn’t have until they finally ended up homeless.
“When they got each other’s story, and they got each other’s differences, and they talked about it from the other persons viewpoint, they started laughing.”
us to remember:
Neither of them changed their position on the issue, but they developed empathy for each other.
They realized the other person wasn’t bad or wrong
“If couples knew more skills dealing with love, they wouldn’t need therapy.”
Linda Carroll is the author of Love Cycles and Love Skills, which was launched last Friday on Valentines Day, February 14 2020. Her books are for people who aren’t so smart in how to thrive in relationships.
Although PILLOW TALK is not a focus of her books, it illustrates well why all of us need the skills Linda teaches.
is so valuable. She tells us the difference between LOVE and LOVING. She
teaches us the Cycles of Love, which are:
DOUBT AND DENIAL
There are quiz’s and exercises to take alone or with your partner. If all else fails, try a little PILLOW TALK
Many of our radio guests have made reference to A Course in Miraclesbook. They lovingly call it “the course.” I have not read this bible of conscious thought, but it’s been on my “must read” list for a while now.
In preparation for today’s show with Pam Grout I read her latest book called, “A Course in Miracles Experiment”. I was hooked quickly. In fact, after spending a few hours last night reading Pam’s book, I woke up at 2:30 this morning (and since I couldn’t sleep) I read more of her book until the alarm went off around 5:30.
I’m the very person these books have been written for. I live in a problem mindset, rather than a possibilities mindset. Pam’s wisdom put me in a good mood, despite the lack of sleep, and I’m living in a sense of “it’s possible” today.
Pam’s book was written to simplify A Course in Miracles, and to help those who found the original a little dry and “long winded”. She began creating it by blogging about each lesson of “the course” which she still completes every year.
“A Course in Miracles was just the thing that really captured my attention to do for longer. I’m one of those dabbers that practice a lot of spiritual searching.”
Teachings of God when Pam was young lost appeal as she grew older. The strictness of the belief did not ring true for her. She had to let go of those tenets and be open to other possibilities; how this “divine buzz” comes to us.
“A Course in Miracles felt like my path. It’s the one spiritual practice I kept doing year after year.”
Eventually the teachings started to stick, and Pam is still learning. She will always be a student of A Course in Miracles.
“The course teaches the message of love; the message of a bigger truth; getting rid of all the blocks to love and peace; and discovering who we really are.”
Pam tells us there is a spiritual presence here for us at all times, and that it’s exciting to understand what life really is for each of us.
Her latest book began in January 2018 when Pam once again started the course. Each day she’d blog about each lesson, and her perspective of the wisdom taught. Those following her blog began to suggest she write a book. After ignoring those requests for a few months, Pam finally decided to do just that. Thus, A Course in Miracles Experiment was created.
“There are those people who love the book (A Course in Miracles), and those who hate the book, thinking it’s boring. My task was to make it a little more fun.”
Pam declares that, like me, you do not need to have read A Course in Miracles before reading her book, A Course in Miracles Experiment. If you don’t feel called to read the original, Pam simplifies the lessons in her book.
“We want to be who we really are: God’s son or daughter, and we all have assignments – the things we are meant to do. The guidance is available to all of us, and the answers come easily.”
I highly recommend Pam’s books. I’ve only read this one, but the way she writes is so entertaining, I’m sure any of her creations are worth delving into.
Please look into a charity Pam set up for her late daughter, Taz Grout’s 222 Fund formed because of an inside “joke” of sorts Pam and her daughter shared. Now, Pam is offering gifts and love to people in need.
The Hedgehog is also special to Pam. She and her daughter sent a hedgehog to each other each month. It is through these two symbols (222 and Hedgehogs) which Pam continues to feel close to her daughter since Taz’s untimely death. You can read more about Pam’s experiences in her book.
Today’s guest,Sora Garrett is not just another organizational guru. Sora caused me to consider an expanded view of “clutter” in all areas of my life. I’m so happy her newest book, Simply Enough, Create Space for What Matters was launched this week. I needed to grow awake in this area.
Which of my belongings make me most happy?
Are any of my possessions no longer aligned with who I am becoming?
How would losing all (or most) of my possessions impact me?
What were the times when I had enough…more than enough…not enough?
“Until you know what truly matters where you are right now, you won’t know what you truly need to get where you are going”
In her book, Sora encourages us to make two lists:
A JOY LIST – a reminder of your destination, and what you want to keep for the journey
A CLUTTER LIST – the possessions and areas of your life that feel heavy or burdensome.
“Choose 3 things from your CLUTTER LIST to give someone who will appreciate it, or a thrift store where it can be found by someone who needs it.”
A STORY OF NOT ENOUGH
I love the parable about a woman who has the opportunity to tour both heaven and hell. The woman is first taken to hell, through the fiery gates and into a large room. What she sees is completely different than the images of hell she was taught as a child. There are tables and tables overflowing with food of every kind, goblets of golden wine, music, bounty everywhere. Yet the people sitting around the tables look famished and miserable. The woman is puzzled, but then she notices something strange. The people in hell are holding long spoons, but their arms are unable to bend so it is impossible for them to feed themselves. So even though the people are sitting around tables laden with a generous supply of food, they are starving. Interesting, she thinks, and asks to be taken to heaven. She walks through a different set of gates, these pearly, into another large room. Astonished, she sees exactly the same setting: tables overflowing with food, goblets of wine, music, people sitting around the tables with long spoons and unbending arms. But in heaven, the people are smiling, laughing, dancing and glowing with good health. There is one simple difference. In heaven, the people have learned to feed each other. In hell, they are still holding on.
Simply Enough, Create Space For What Matters page 68
I learned today to stop holding on. Will you join me?
“Everything you thought was true is crumbling before your eyes; Everything you thought you were, you don’t know any more. I was in a shamanic death and rebirth; a dark night of the soul; a shamanic dismemberment. I was being squeezed through finer and finer sieves until my pulverized parts were primordial goo. I stumbled out of the crucible, and I had perspective.”
Rev., Dr. Stephanie Red Feather
Rev. Stephanie Red Feather, Ph.D., is the founder and director of Blue Star Temple. She is an ordained shamanic minister, holds a bachelor’s degree in applied mathematics and master’s and doctorate degrees in shamanic studies from Venus Rising University. She also calls herself a Divine Feminine change agent and a champion of Empaths.
Stephanie was our guest this past Tuesday where she shared her thirst for learning; her intensity, drive, and energy. She also shared (the quote above) her transformation upon the discovery of her long-lost empathic abilities.
Stephanie is the author of :
She hasn’t always known she was an Empath, because her skills took time to evolve. Stephanie was a very sensitive child, easily sensing the needs of others. Now she helps others to discover and hone their empathic abilities.
You might have the same question I had: What is an Empath?
“A quality we possess; something we can access to build a bridge to another person to be able to SEE things in their perspective and walk in their shoes. Now take that quality and turn up the dial so you FEEL that perspective 24/7 – that’s an Empath.”
Rev., Dr. Stephanie Red Feather
Question: Is it learned?
“It’s a choice made at a soul level; to show up in your body with a particular energetic physiology and a refined set of sensitivities. It is something that we are. It is how we show up on this planet. Being Empathic is part of our human blueprint. At birth it’s part of our natural coding and a natural way of interacting with the world. It’s a different way to perceive energy.”
Rev., Dr. Stephanie Red Feather
Stephanie explained that we likely all have these qualities, and we expressed them as a child. Sadly however, we likely learned to shut them down from others who’d lost their own sensitivity, and therefore didn’t understand our own.
“Life experiences will determine if our natural empathic abilities get turned on.”
FIVE QUALITIES OF AN EMPATH:
Ability to merge with and absorb the energy of other beings; people, animals, anything with a life force.
Highly sensitive nervous system. It’s easy to get overwhelmed.
Great sensitivity to energies around us and an ability to perceive or access subtle information stored in the energy field of other sentient beings. May see the dead, apparitions or angels.
Premium placed on peace and harmony.
Big open heart, and desire to serve others. We may tend to deplete ourselves putting others first and ourselves last. Prone to service-oriented professions.
All these qualities exist on a sliding scale. You could peg high in one of these areas, and low on a few others. There is no threshold for which you’re deemed an Empath or not. You are either a conscious Empath, or an unconscious Empath.
Does this resonate with you? Stephanie’s book is a tremendous resource. We are in a cycle of ascension. Time is moving faster, and vibration is rising. Empaths are here because it’s time for them again. They are here to usher in the next phase of consciousness; to heal the heart.
“I am here to support people in their spiritual awakening.”
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