Our most recent guest on Life Mastery Radio was royalty since she is known as the Queen of Radical Accountability. Her program with clients is 90 days of intense focus on what matters, and it is called Radical Accountability Movement.
If you are a visionary entrepreneur, you likely have many ideas. So many ideas in fact, it becomes hard to focus on just one at a time, and that leads to constant distractions. UGH! I feel it – it is MY life!
Rebecca explains why it is not helpful to be in this mindset:
“Our ideas mean hard work and relentless focus on mastery. We let go of our real brilliance because we’re trying to do everything on our own.”
We have so much going on, and we cannot possibly follow through with all the tasks listed in our head. It becomes more and more difficult to feel as though we are having success. In Rebecca’s program the first step is to get clear on YOUR PURPOSE.
Your talents are unique, which makes your mission unique.
“Visionaries are less likely to get distracted when they know their purpose. You learn to differentiate from the ideas that are needle-movers, and those ideas that don’t have to be acted on right now.”
Rebecca suggests A Someday, Maybe List.
“Get your ideas out of your head and down on paper. You’ll tackle them eventually, just not today.”
Clients who work with Rebecca set long term goals 12-18 months out. She understands this helps her clients feel less intimidated, but clear on goals, and real on the steps needed to achieve their goals.
“Everyone needs clarity about where they are and where they want to be. Breaking long-terms goals down to daily actions will help every individual progress toward their desired end every day. Break audacious goals into tiny steps and be accountable to someone.”
Rebecca cautions us about who to be accountable to.
“On the Lakota Medicine Wheel, the 7th power is ACCOUNTABILITY, and a phrase they teach is (I’m paraphrasing) DON’T BE ACCOUNTABLE TO ANYONE WHO LIVES IN YOUR TEEPEE.”
When working with Rebecca and her Beyond Accountability Movement, you will focus equally in four areas of accountability to attain proper balance in life:
“You can be radically focused on business and everything else becomes dim. The first week in the movement is hard because you have to face the reality of where you are.”
When we focus on only one of the aforementioned areas, Rebecca calls it “Being Ruled by the Tyranny of the Urgent. We become controlled by the feelings of having to do everything. We get into a cycle of performing in areas of our lives we are not good at, and without knowing it we are on a path completely opposite of our goals.
“Focus on accomplishing the four most important tasks each week through daily goals, and you’ll always be moving the needle in the right direction. Daily goals work to keep you moving forward consistently.”
Would you like to be part of Rebecca’s Radical Accountability Movement? There are 4 spots open right now! It is easy to get involved.
Who does not want more energy? Who does not want to feel as though all cylinders of your life, business, and health are firing at the right time and in the right way?
Our recent guest, Juan Miolan is a life energy coach. He recognizes that entrepreneurs who have children can often find themselves backfiring and burned out. Trying to “balance” priorities between home and business usually saps entrepreneurial energy instead of igniting it.
Juan Miolan gave us insight into the answers to solve these common problems, and to get out of the exhaustion cycle.
From early childhood Juan experienced the downside of mental health since his mother struggled with it. Juan learned the importance of taking care of what is between our ears, and what is in our heart. He set out on a journey to explain his own exhaustion, insomnia, and a lack of personal success.
Juan studied spirituality, brain health, neuroscience, quantum mechanics and ancient philosophy with a goal to get answers about how parent business owners, coaches, and the like can be their best without sacrificing one area of life to have success in another.
“If our health fails, everything else fails.”
Juan coaches his clients about the importance of integrating all aspects of health into human wholeness. With four elements of focus, its not that one element is more important than another – we must master all of them together.
“The four laws are: spirituality, mental health, emotional health, and physical health. What do we biologically and physiologically need?”
Juan claims exercise is not always the best place to start, even though we have been taught to do so when it comes to “getting into shape”. Instead, it helps to understand the brain and the mind are separate and different from each other. Juan proclaims we must focus on neuro nutrition, and what we can do to allow our brain to function at full capacity.
“I always like to start with truth. Transformation happens through truth, not strategies. A lot of us are trying to change without understanding our body and how our brain and belief system operates. You can’t get to the next level of health without the next level of mindset; and you can’t get to the next level of mindset without the next level of health.”
Juan encourages us to set more heart-felt goals.
“I want to help people come alive in their purpose. Recognize that you don’t have an energy problem, you have an energy distribution problem.”
A lot of our thoughts are contracting, rather than empowering our success. For instance, Juan says we should think about starting to move before starting to exercise. Hops and twists will help our lymphatic system to release toxins and stress. Exercise is a hormone stressor. To recover from this stressor, we need proper sleep and nutrition.
Juan provided for all of you his Small Movement Library: Click Here
“There is an order to how we should do things. Exercising hours and hours takes us away from family and other important things. Health does not require you to suffer.”
Other trainers do not look at your belief systems, they simply suggest you work harder and more often to reach your goals. Not always helpful.
“It’s important to have a strong and true relationship with yourself.”
Juan offered another gold nugget of information: When it comes to nutrition, we need to consider what food means to us. Food is connected to our experiences, and as we try to remove some of these foods from our diet, we should understand our intimacy with them. Our brain creates neuro connections with food which represents feelings we have had with family or community. This neuro relationship makes it hard to give up the foods we love. Juan says the answer is to rewrite the meaning of that food in our life’s script.
“Live through the heart and tap into what you really want to feel. Be compassionate with yourself.”
Find this life-changing expert @JuanMiolan on Facebook
Janelle Anderson was 16 years old when she discovered her boyfriend who had been drafted into battle during the Vietnam war would not be returning home. When she was a sophomore in college, Janelle was drugged and raped by an acquaintance she’d met at a bar. Not the best foundation of confidence for a young woman.
“I was living in a fog and feeling as though I was nothing. I had no confidence in myself, no one else saw value in me, and I didn’t feel worthy of being heard.”
While in college she met a young man, who knew exactly what to say to manipulate Janelle. After graduation they headed to California but made a stop in Las Vegas. Unfortunately for Janelle they ended up staying in Nevada where her manipulating boyfriend talked her into becoming a “working girl”.
Janelle’s situation would be considered trafficking today and she lived this life of desperation for three years. At the time she could not see the slave-like, trapped life she was in, but it deeply exacerbated her lack of confidence and unworthiness.
Janelle turned to drug use to get her through the daily pain. She took drugs to help her get up in the mornings, and drugs to help her sleep at night. She felt alone and lost.
Janelle contemplated: “How did I get to this place? My parents love me. I’ve been raised with morals, so how did I end up doing what I’m doing?”
One night her boyfriend became physically violent and almost
choked her to death. After surviving that night, Janelle called her mother. Janelle
was invited to pray with her mother for peace, and to return home.
“Peace and home sounded so right. That’s exactly what I needed.”
Janelle went home to her parents and found solace in religion. She participated in programs which helped her begin to heal from years of trauma. Her boyfriend also went home and supposedly found religion as well. They ended up getting married. Their union produced a child and eventually ended in divorce.
“We’ve lost touch with him today, but I have a beautiful daughter. She has made everything worth it.”
In the 30 years that have followed Janelle has remarried and continued to heal while remaining disconnected from the emotion of her trauma. It wasn’t until her 50’s when she finally awakened.
“I still had to do the inner work and start facing my past. It was like a laser beam going to the core of my pain, and for the first time I realized I was not a bad person, I had been a victim. I now own my story. I learned to feel the emotion I so long disassociated from.”
Janelle is now sure of her purpose and how her life story will make an impact in the lives of women who lack confidence as she did. She has been guided by love, faith, and family. She is a Confidence Coach for Women Entrepreneurs & Leaders.
Janelle Anderson leads women through her S.T.A.R. process of self-discovery, personal transformation, and growth to create a fearless confidence in who they are and what they do. This life-changing process results in new levels of success, satisfaction, and engagement in their lives.
No matter your age, nationality, or the circumstances of your childhood, when you hear the word Disney it undoubtably invokes happy feelings and memories.
That is the MAGIC OF DISNEY!
Our most recent guest, Kimberley Bouchard has become a “back door” expert of that Disney Magic, and she shared much of it with us.
Like Kimberley, when I was young “The Wonderful World of Disney” was broadcast every Sunday evening on TV. For one hour each week, my family lived harmoniously. It was the one common love we all shared.
My first trip to Disneyland at the age of fourteen was truly magical. It was a short escape from contention, abuse, and conflict at home. That year I attended the park with my mother and stepfather. The following summer I went again with my father and stepmother. Both experiences were simply magical.
Kimberley Bouchard was twelve when she first visited the
park, and she found herself most captivated by the castle. Her family had
travelled all the way from Canada in a car to be transformed into the magical
world of the happiest place on earth.
Kimberley is now the author of 5 books titled Positively Disney. The first four books contain stories from actors, animators, artists, and guests. The fifth book is a special edition featuring Star Wars. Within all her books the reader discovers the inspiring stories of life-changing experiences influenced by the magic of Disney.
“If you recall the Chicken Soup for the Soul books by Jack Canfield, you’ll be familiar with the types of experiences you’ll read about in my books. However, it’s all related to Disney.”
Here is a taste of a few stories contained in Kimberley’s books:
Sherry Alberoni (Baird) was one of the original Mouseketeers of 1955. She had entered a contest selling cookies. Because Sherry sold the most cookies, she was prized with spending time at the opening of Walt Disneyland Park with Walt Disney himself.
Sometime during the events of the day in an ice cream parlor inside the park, Sherry made Walt Disney an ice cream sundae. While photographs were being taken, she did not realize the ice cream was dripping onto Walt Disney’s coat. Walt just laughed it off. He always cared more about people than things.
“All the Disney stars are really down to earth. They don’t take on airs.”
Walt was very persistent in following his dreams, yet he could
not have been successful without his brother Roy.
“It took two to create what they did. Walt was the creator and visionary. Roy was the action man who got things done. They needed each other.”
Disney’s 49th animated movie called The Princess, and the Frog highlights the first African American Disney princess. The main character, Tianna was based on Leah Chase, owner of Dooky Chase restaurant in New Orleans whom Kimberley met a few years ago. Leah is known as the Queen of Creole, and at the age of 93 still cooks in the kitchen.
“She (Leah Chase) had the light. She has inspired me with her difficult life and what she created despite it. Her parting words to me were: ‘Go out and make a difference in the world. That’s what this is all about‘.”
The very first story in the very first book of Kimberley’s series is her personal experience with the magic of Disney. You’ll have to get her book to read it!
“I’m very blessed to do what I do. I am grateful for the people who have shared their stories with me. I feel driven to illustrate that Disney is not just a park, it is not just products. Disney is magic. It is timeless, inspiring, and far reaching.”
You do not have to be a neuroscientist to be on Life Mastery Radio, but when you are, we get to “pick your brain”. Dr. Ali Lankerani, affectionately known as The Parent Whisperer, not only let us pick his brain, but he willingly shared inspiring information with us.
Dr. L. helps parents to optimize their children’s success in many areas. He shared 4 with us:
“The only organ that can modulate itself and control what comes into it, and what goes out of it is the brain.”
Dr. Ali Lankerani
Dr. L. explained we choose to focus on information from the brain or not. Before we can ask the brain to do something for us, we must make sure to provide the proper nutritional building blocks.
“If you feed your brain the right things, it will provide a different output for you than if you’re feeding it the wrong things. Nutrition plays a role in your perspective.”
Dr. Ali Lankerani
The brain gives us power based on how
many parts are working simultaneously. When we are stressed our brains do not receive
the nutrition it needs to help us thrive.
Dr. L. listed the foundational blocks that support the brain. He also called them the foundational pieces of health.
Neuro Stimulation (movement)
Dr. L. related all these pieces to a
metronome used to keep rhythm in music.
“The Inferior Olive lies deep within the brain. Think of it as the metronome of the brain. Signals which come too far apart or too quickly can cause us to misunderstand the impulses of the brain. It can affect our perception of reality.”
Dr. Ali Lankerani
Dr. L. explained why strobe lights bother me and make me feel physically stressed and unwell:
“Strobe lights alter your visual field. Jackie, the brain perceives where everything should be, but the strobing lights create a different reality.”
Dr. Ali Lankerani
I was happy to hear Dr. L. say that
dancing is a wonderful brain workout.
“It involves all the senses and creates a cohesive picture of reality. While dancing, we are breathing deeper, taking in oxygen, and moving our whole body.”
Dr. Ali Lankerani
Related to the metronome of our brain – the Inferior Olive, anxiety propels us into the future (metronome set on a fast rhythm); and depression keeps us in the past (metronome of a rhythm too slow).
“Often, the negative thoughts we have force the brain to find perspectives to validate those thoughts.”
Dr. Ali Lankerani
Meditation is a powerful tool to keep us
in the present.
Our current lifestyles have changed our values and geared us more toward IQ rather than EQ. Since this decades long aberration has switched our focus to one part of our brain – the money making, innovating, and schedule-filled brain, other more important areas of the brain – enjoyment, rest, and simple pleasures are no longer cherished.
We are drastically different than our forebears. Nutrition, stimulation, rest, posture, movement, oxygen levels. They have all changed because of our fast-paced lifestyles.
“This exposure makes it’s print on the brain. What we see and do strengthens neural pathways. What we are no longer doing gets pruned out. It causes problems in the rest of our body because it hasn’t caught up yet.”
Dr. Ali Lankerani
“Although we have neuroplasticity throughout life, there is a window of time when we can write, rewrite, rewire and/or retrain the personality of our children and teenagers.“
Dr. Ali Lankerani
As parents and influencers of children, we can optimize young lives. Often however, we inadvertently get in the way of a child’s progress because we are leading by example – perhaps a poor example.
Dr. L. is known as The Parent Whisperer because he works alongside parents and children supporting them and empowering them to lead by example to create future leaders and role models.
A healthy brain helps us all to connect, be happy, and fulfill our unique mission. The brain can be rewired. Even the brains of individuals healing from tragic experiences can be retrained.
“If you have been through tragedy, you have an important message to share with the world. YOU can be a motivator and change-maker. YOU can change your brain from thinking of challenges as setbacks to thinking of them as stepping-stones. Share your message, move forward, and make a difference.”
Dr. Ali Lankerani
Every person has it within them to influence others for greater achievement. We should support our brain so we can more easily find our unique purpose. Dr. L. claims we can either feel uncomfortable and try to go around a problem, or we can push through it with purpose.
With purpose you can go through anything
Dr. Lankerani has a program coming up called: Role Model Lifestyle Mastery. It is three days of events, exercises, and tools to help you and those you love to thrive by your example.
I have already registered to attend. I
hope I will see you there so we can become ROLE MODELS together!
“A revolution is underway. You may not have noticed it yet —because this is a revolution that starts on the inside. To join it, you don’t need to gather arms; you don’t need to learn battle strategies. You don’t need to do anything —except reclaim a power that you lost long ago.”
She worked in tech for 20 years with some of the greatest innovators of all time. Kim learned that geniuses honor and use their intuition.
“Steve jobs knew what he was doing, and often spoke about using his intuition. He was naturally open and unafraid to try new things and be different.”
Kim taught us that intuition is an
extraordinary and unexpected illusion. It does not always make sense. In fact,
Kim explained there is a fine line between intuition and craziness. On the
other hand, intuition is the secret sauce of all success.
“Life is about expansion. When you are plugged in to intuition it will push you past your boundaries. Even if your actions don’t produce the expected results, listening to your intuition is always the right thing to do.”
What is intuition?
“Intuition is our connection to our higher consciousness; all that is beyond this moment and place in time.”
Intuition communicates with each of us in a unique way. It might come through a feeling, an idea, the recognition of knowledge out of the blue, creative energy, or even an experience. It is also the unifying force that brings all our uniqueness together.
Intuition happens in magical, almost impossible ways. We have access to it 24/7 and we often do not notice it. Have you ever been thinking of a friend, and right then you get an email from him/her? Have you ever taken a different route home only to learn that a horrible accident on your usual route would have delayed you for hours?
Intuition, according to Kim, can be that subtle.
“Intuition comes to us in the places between our thoughts. When our minds are going a mile a minute, our tuition can’t speak to us. It’s when we are awake at 3:00 am, in the shower, or meditating that we might finally listen to it because our minds are out of the way.”
In Kim’s book she offers tools and exercises to help us recognize our intuition, practice it, nurture it, and pay closer attention to it. One of the suggestions she makes is an intuition journal which I thought was fabulous.
Kim explained how writing down our ideas when we have them will give us a chance to look back and identify the intuitive thoughts and ideas which led us to current situations. We can more clearly see the benefits when we trusted our intuition, and our downfalls by not doing so.
How can we encourage more intuitive moments?
“Make space in your day for your intuition. Make more white space on your calendar and schedule down time. That’s when intuition will come. The more you do that during the day the less you’ll be awakened in the middle of night.”
Kim’s book is not simply a reading
book, it’s a doing book. You’ll learn to be true to your higher self – your
true heart, mind, and core being.
“Being true to yourself is the most revolutionary act.”
Besides her book, Kim has a free 10-day Global Intuition Summit event: GLOBAL INTUITION SUMMIT (intuitionalliance.com)featuring contributors to her book, daily workshops, and immersive exercises. She calls it an inner retreat to jump start your intuition.
The love doctor returned to Life Mastery Radio this week. Dr. Gary Salyer is the author of Safe to Love Again, and he teaches his clients to do just that by helping them rewire their brains with an understanding of four important feelings.
The right to feel:
Welcomed with Joy
Worthy and Nourished
Cherished and Protected
Empowered with Choice
When you add up all these feelings you feel loved and can give love back.
“Babies have an attachment style by the time they’re 10 months old. If, as children, we experience all four feelings we become securely attached.”
Dr. Gary Salyer
Dr. Salyer told the story of his patient, Paul who had become insecurely unattached around the time he was four years old. Paul had learned that at some point, “Love will turn on me.”
Paul was twice divorced around the 10-year mark of each relationship. He lacked trust in each wife since he always knew at some point love would turn on him. He recognized the fault was his but didn’t know how to create lasting love.
Paul spoke of a family campout when, without any provocation or reason, his father walked over to him and began beating Paul. His father “turned against him” leaving Paul with the distinct feeling that at some point anyone who loved him would do the same.
At one session Paul’s
older brother was with him as he retold the story.
Staring in complete shock, Paul’s brother spoke:
“You got it all wrong, Paul. I was at that campout and witnessed your pant legs catching on fire because you got too close to the flames. Dad jumped up and beat the flames out so you didn’t become a marshmallow. He didn’t turn on you! Dad saved your life!”
“Feelings are so powerful we often determine “our truth” which keeps us from seeing “THE truth”. The brain uses these early templates for all our relationships. The brain creates experience, and in Paul’s case set up levels of distrust by misinterpreting an experience.”
Dr. Gary Salyer
Dr. Salyer explained when the four feelings are not felt as children, we actually separate from our bodies and feelings without a right to exist.
He himself did not feel welcomed as a baby. Dr. Salyer’s mother was extremely disappointed he was not a girl. He was dressed in pink and went without a name for three weeks after his birth.
How did this manifest In Dr. Salyer? He didn’t feel cherished. His mother was abusive and unprotecting. Gary learned it was safer for him to be distanced from his mother, and he spent time playing in his room.
When he got married
Dr. Salyer didn’t understand why his wife felt lonely. He was still practicing
what he’d learned as a child: being distant is safe. The separation made his
wife feel as though Dr. Salyer didn’t understand her. The figurative distance
between them widened further and further until divorce was imminent.
“If you have fled from feelings as a child your brain is not set up to feel. I was blind as a bat without feelings. I was denying my wife the feelings of being cherished and welcomed.”
Dr. Gary Salyer
Dr. Salyer affirms: “If there are fights in a relationship it’s because one partner isn’t feeling one of these feelings:”
Welcomed with Joy
Worthy and Nourished
Empowered with Choice
“Show me a couple without a WE, and I’ll show you a war. There has to be a WE, and worthy is what makes love go around. It’s a birthright. You were born worthy.”
Dr. Gary Salyer
When Dr. Gary works
with individuals or couples, he helps them find the imprints – the big moments
when the brain shaped an emotional experience.
“Find the flavor of safety the brain was seeking, and you’ll discover the feeling. Giving yourself the right to have these feelings and restoring them is what makes self-love possible. The brain will feel safe. Change the feeling and everything else changes. Feelings are the original GPS for love.”
Dr. Gary Salyer
A brain that is aligned with these four feelings easily creates a profound, intimate, deep, calming, and empowering WE. From this WE extraordinary couples are born, nurtured, and raised.
Watch videos on Dr. Sayler’s website he calls MESSAGES ABOUT LOVE. They are only 2-4 minutes in length and many couples report tremendous value by learning from them.
Our recent guests, Tahnee Woolf and Allen David Reed have spent many years researching, developing, and creating a model representing our individual journey of consciousness. They call it the Ten Terrains of Consciousness.
I found our discussion with them fascinating. They have been brought together by spirit to do this work.
The Ten Terrains model was developed out of their common lives, and the discovery of fields which opened between them any time they were together. Tahnee wanted to understand people and have clarity for the reasons we are all so different.
“What is underneath the differences between people?”
Allen had a different mission: to understand why human perspective is most often opposite from the truth. He grew up in the woods of Washington state without connection to family. The trees, earth and animals were his connection, causing Allen to ask: Who are we, and why are we doing what we are doing? He took on a study of sciences and religions.
“We are living in a universe that is conscious. Every particle is aware of itself.”
Allen David Reed
Allen and Tahnee have designed a map of consciousness that illustrates to what degree we have separated ourselves from our own consciousness. The symbols tell a story. As it emerged, the clearer the model became.
“You have Anthropology on one end and infinite consciousness on the other end. It is like we are all living in a parallel universe to each other.”
Allen explained consciousness using a rubber band and his index finger.
“We are electrical bundles of energy. We are at a certain terrain based on the charge we have. Our charge holds us in judgement. Through healing, learning, and understanding, our charge can be released causing us to come into our true beinghood. We come to neutrality. “
Allen David Reed
Infinite perfection of everything.
During the research of the Ten Terrains model, people were reporting greater understanding of themselves and family members through a 10-minute quiz. The same quiz is available to you. Taking it will likely offer a new perspective of who you are since aspects of your culture, family, and community may be feeling uncomfortable or nonconforming to your beliefs. It is likely caused because you are living in a parallel universe to others.
The word Terrain was carefully selected. A Terrain is the condition upon which something manifests. Deserts, jungles, forests, plains, mountains, are all different types of terrain. There are also terrains in the psyche which give way to our cultures, beliefs, and behaviors.
“Understanding the different lenses that we as individuals and others see through gives us all a better understanding.”
Allen David Reed
Tahnee clarified the Ten Terrains model does not define our personality. Many different personality types will live at the same Terrain. Allen and Tahnee’s model illustrates WHERE you are rather than WHO you are.
“You may express your personality differently based on the Terrain you are at, but your personality, character, and astrological sign stays the same.”
Like riding in a hot-air balloon, as we rise higher and higher, nothing changes but our perspective. We are not suddenly any smarter, wealthier, or worthier. We simply have a grander perspective the higher and higher we rise.
“No one Terrain is better than another Terrain just as being the age of 12 is no better than being the age of 50. Our experiences and perspectives are different, and each experience brings more enlightenment.”
“Ego only sees what is going on now. When you are an infinite being, you have awareness of the journey and you allow it to take as long as is necessary. Wherever you are, (whatever Terrain you find yourself) you have chosen to be there because of the lesson you are to learn. Do the spiritual work and be centered where you are. You are where you are for a reason.”
Allen David Reed
Todd and I took the quiz. He is at Circle, and I am at Square. We simply answered questions based on what felt true for each of us through a series of choices. A report has been provided to us which explains the meaning of our place at that Terrain. The report also clarifies challenges we are likely facing in our journey and the gift we are here to give. Like I said: fascinating!
Some people may make a Terrain shift,
while others do not. There is no goal to reach a certain terrain. We all have a
different purpose, and some people may need to stay at their current Terrain to
fulfill their purpose – like Abe Lincoln.
“Abraham Lincoln had to live at SQUARE his whole life to end slavery.”
Your journey is different than mine. You may or may not have an awakening. When a shift does happen, it can create conflicts in relationships. During a shift we might find ourselves reading different books than before, seeking out new friendships with people we hadn’t been interested in before, or simply feel uncomfortable with our current situation as if we are dying to break free from something.
Allen would likely tell us to relax, trust the process, and patiently wait.
“We all have amazing potential. We constrain ourselves, and often undermine our own progress.”
Allen David Reed
Go to TenTerrains.com find their book, and take the quiz!
When Emily Letran was thirteen years-old she escaped Vietnam in a boat during the middle of the night with her aunt, brothers, and a few cousins. During the 7-day journey on the ocean, the party was shot at, robbed, and beaten, but left to live. And lived they did. In fact, Emily’s story is one of hope, abundance, and freedom.
Saigon-born in the late 1960’s, Emily had seen horrific images of war as a child. Whole villages of people were killed, and the sky was often orange from smoke. When the communists came into power in 1975 life immediately changed for her family.
There was never enough food, which the government “provided”. The Vietnamese citizens were forced to stand in line for rations of food and supplies – given according to the number of family members in each home.
Emily’s mother passed-away one year later, and by 1981 rumors of another war in Vietnam began to swell. Her brothers and cousins were old enough to be drafted into the communist military. Thus, the escape from her home country was put into action.
Emily’s father and a few siblings would stay in Vietnam and join the family soon. As Emily looked back at her father that night the boat was pushed silently into the ocean, she felt hope and determination to make his sacrifice worthwhile. The expectation to survive, thrive, and be successful weighed heavily on Emily, even more than fear of the unknown.
Sadly, Emily never saw her father again.
This small group of survivors lived in a Malaysian refugee camp for 3 months before taking her first airplane ride and arriving in New Orleans, Louisiana, United States of America.
Her first impression of America?
“Everything was BIG, and you feel a little lost. Our first meal was Popeye Chicken, and I thought where is the rice? You can’t eat food without rice”.
Culture shock and language barriers were the biggest challenges. Emily had learned conversational English in Vietnam, but that did not suffice in school when learning science and other subjects.
“Imagine not being able to understand ANYTHING people were saying for 5 hours in school every day”.
Emily would study at night translating her English textbooks into Vietnamese. She delivered newspapers, biked to school, and through government programs received free school lunch. She had drive to serve the family, live up to her own expectations, and determination to understand the language.
Emily longed for her father to join
them in America so the family could be complete. He was still in communist
Vietnam where BIG BROTHER is always watching; where government can search your
home any time they want to and take anything they want.
By the time she was in high school, the family lived in California. Emily went to undergrad classes at the university while still in high school, and she took summer classes too. She was working hard to make the most of her blessed situation.
Emily’s father passed-away and soon after she became a U.S. Citizen. She legally changed her first name to Emily, kept her Vietnamese name as her middle name, and combined two different Vietnamese last names (Le and Tran) to form her last name. The American Dream was no longer a hope. It was reality.
“We have a sense of gratitude knowing we live in the best place in the world – the U.S. We take pride in being here as an immigrant, knowing there is no other country in the world which offers real freedom and the ability to achieve”.
Emily is now Emily Letran, DDS and owns two specialty dental practices in southern California. In her profession, not many people share their stories. This compelled Emily to write her story in a book. It is meant to inspire immigrants and others.
“You can share your story in a book and increase the number of people who hear your voice”.
Dr. Emily Letran
To other refugees Dr. Emily says:
“Look for help. Go to churches, neighbors, friends, and ask for help. Ask them to point you to the resources.”
Emily Letran, DDS
To natural American citizens Dr. Emily advises:
“Stay open-minded. Do not stereotype, or assume you know someone’s story because of how they look. Do not assume they cannot do something or do not understand you. Be available to help when/where you can”.
Emily Letran, DDS
On this Election Day 2020, Emily had
more inspiring advice:
“You should be grateful we have two opposing parties in America that fight each other. The option is one single party that dictates everything to you, and controls everything you have”.
Emily Letran, DDS
Emily has been there and done that. As
we parted, Emily offered a gift to YOU:
Text FREEDOM to 6262987587
and get a
free Blueprint for Focus and Productivity
Our recent guest, Joanne Light, Ed.D spoke directly to parents and grandparents listening to our show. She quoted from Marc Brackett’s book: Permission to Feel about Emotional Intelligence using the acronym: R.U.L.E.R.
Recognize your emotions
Understand your emotions
Label your emotions
Express your emotions
Regulate your emotions
“EQ is as important as IQ.”
As a Parent Empowerment Coach, Joanne is an expert helping parents to cope during situations like COVID-19.
“There are so many places to feel stuck, and parents are dealing with many issues right now.”
Joanne’s own daughter struggled in her 20’s with a personality disorder and anxiety. In what felt like a hopeless search, Joanne found a woman running groups for parents of children struggling in the way her daughter was. In this group she found no judgement, but instead, acceptance, support, and help.
Joanne learned when she as a parent received
help, she was able to help her daughter. She discovered her niche as a Career
and Life Coach – empower struggling parents.
“Parents benefit by finding advocates for their personal support, which provides the skills to help their children.”
Joanne spoke about “complex kids” who are challenged with maladies such as ADD, depression, eating disorders, cutting behaviors, and anxiety. It is alarming that 25% of young people between 10-25 have thoughts of taking their own life. Suicide is now the second leading cause of death in this age group.
“ALL kids are having issues, and the pandemic has only made it more obvious.”
Having Joanne as a Parent Empowerment Coach is a process of exploration. Parents learn to rely on their own abilities with guidance to make goals, follow through with them, and achieve them with intention. It is nice to have someone to be accountable to.
To all parents, Joanne recommends the following areas to focus on:
Resiliency: Parenting is an inside out process. Examine your own values, live them, and your children will reflect those values back to you. Resiliency is a coping skill children learn by example; it is the ability to get back up when they fall down or fall behind.
“Dig in and dig deep to become the best parent you can.”
Connection is the key to effective parenting. Parents should react, but not overreact. Nothing will build a wall between child and parent faster than reacting without first understanding. Parents should give themselves permission to back off in the heat of the moment, empathize, and revisit the problem when emotions have cooled off.
Make time together enjoyable for all family members. Studies prove families who have dinner together result in children who are more successful academically, live cultural values, are less worried about challenges, and feel grounded in the family unit. Actions like these develop and increase Emotional Intelligence (EQ).
Structure: Joanne highly recommends FAMILY MEETINGS once a week, or every other week. Schedule regularly and allow each family member to take turns leading the meeting. Choose a topic for each meeting and set ground rules early. Kindness rules.
Family meetings provide a “check in” with each family member. It is a time to confirm chore assignments, share feelings, compare schedules, and for expression without judgement. Make sure to have an activity after the meeting – games, dessert, a movie, etc.
“It sounds cheesy, but it helps! Many life coaches preach family meetings. It’s a time to set boundaries and responsibilities as a calm, caring, nurturing parent.”
Self-Care: all parents should make this a priority. Every day, each parent should do something strictly for themselves whether 5 minutes or 30 minutes.
Have a cup of coffee…alone
Call a friend
Journal, sharing positive thoughts and gratitude (count your blessings)
Sip a glass of wine
Take a nap
Listen to music that lifts your spirit
Eat a healthy snack
“Self-care is critical. When parents cope well, kids will as well. Self-care is not selfish; it is not indulgent. It’s critical.”
If you are feeling overwhelmed and out of control with your own emotions – chances are your children are experiencing the same. Seek out support like Joanne did. In fact – contact Joanne. Care for yourself to better care for those you love in an emotionally intelligent way.
What is Grief? It's about change, the loss of something important to us. We all experience it at some point in our lives. Understanding it and how it works is an important Life Mastery concept. Jackie and I will be live in one hour with our expert guest, Clair Willis, Tune in and put another tool in your Life Mastery tool kit. Look for the watch party coming soon. ... See MoreSee Less