Is it possible to live a stress-free family life? When I was a young mother it seemed impossible and unrealistic. Though I tried, I struggled to stay on top of my own schedule as well as the schedule my children needed to adhere to.
Our recent guest, Madeleine Davis also struggled to be a “together mom.”
“When I embarked on the journey of motherhood I thought I was the only mom who didn’t have all the answers. It was intimidating. I was successful in my business life, and I thought popping out a few kids would be easy.”
Madeleine thought what many mothers think: “I’m never going to figure this out before my kids grow up and leave for college.”
Thankfully, Madeleine did figure it out, published a book, and created a system to help overwhelmed parents to be relaxed and confident while setting their kids up for success.
“You don’t have to be born a together mom – you can learn how to be one.”
Parents who’ve decided to
take Madeleine’s program say they no longer wanted to fake it or keep the “together”
illusion. Her program is simple and easy to implement.
“It’s a family system. It helps everybody.”
Family life is often chaotic, and the pandemic hasn’t made it any easier. Kids are in different schools (or at home) starting at different times of the morning. Parents are working from home, too. Most parents know children thrive with structure, but don’t know how to create it.
“Sometimes as parents we feel comfortable in chaos because we grew up that way. We’re all trying to do the best we can, but trial and error learning is inefficient learning. Even if parents research solutions the glut of information is paralyzing.”
Madeleine’s system makes sense and fits all the important pieces together. The Stress-Free Family System is a five-step process and it’s included in her book.
Step 1: Routines
“Stress is reduced when routines are effective. I teach families to optimize routines in the home and make it easy to change as the family changes.
One part of the process is clustering; and once implemented clustering is a life changer.”
Madeleine suggests identifying a time when a child’s routine is most challenging and in which rooms the activity takes place. For instance, in the bedroom a child would make his/her bed, get dressed and grab their book bag. In the bathroom a child would use the toilet and brush his/her teeth. In the kitchen they’d eat breakfast and grab their lunch box.
“Chances are right now your kids are ping-ponging back and forth from room to room allowing distractions at every turn. The Stress-Free Family System takes them to each room only one time, and then out the door.”
In the Routines part of the system parents also learn to use a Tomorrow Box/Basket/Bag. This is a way to contain everything that needs to go out the door with each child in the morning. Each child will also take everything to the bedroom with them at bedtime.
The system teaches parents to plan each day the day before. Just this one principle helps children practice next-step thinking, as well as strategic and critical thinking. This way parents can avoid all the forgotten homework and lunch boxes.
Simple, fast, and seamless
Step 2: Rhythms
This is a process to identify the repetitive events that require both parent and child participation.
“Families solve each problem for the last time. The result is a home which runs effortlessly.”
Imagine kids constantly
asking questions, misplacing notes from school, forgetting lunch, and learning
there is no permission slip for a school trip when it’s needed.
Now, imagine erasing all
of those problems forever.
Step 3: Rules
Rules are either enforced, or not depending on the energy level of the parent enforcing them. In Madeleine’s system rules are based on two factors 1) they are tied to family values and principles; and 2) they are created for each family member… including parents.
“A couple of suggested Mom rules are, ‘I will only choose consequences I know I can honor’ and ‘I will not allow my emotions to guide my actions’.”
Identify one or two rules
you can give yourself to be the parent you want to be.
“It’s best to reward for good behavior instead of punishing for bad behavior.”
Madeleine reports that money
rewards rarely work, but internal motivation does.
Think about three things your child would want to have, or to do. Only include rewards you can realistically give them and think of them ahead of time to reduce the temptation to bribe in the moment.
Step 5: Revolutionize
Madeleine suggests keeping the changes you’re making under cover until just the right time.
“Kids already have changes happening in their lives. If you announce a new program to include big changes at home you’ll get push back from the family.”
Making changes covertly will create a revolutionary buy-in later since you’ll be able to provide examples of the positive changes already made. Madeleine’s system includes scripts to say just the right things during the revolutionized meeting. Your children will feel they are driving the changes, and there will be no push back!
Stop beating yourself up and stop feeling guilty for not being a “together mom or dad”. Check out Madeleine’s book, and her Stress-Free Family System. Make 2022 the best year yet for your entire family!
Our recent guest, Shiraz Baboo uses Energetic Magic to help people rewrite their reality. He has transformational coaching programs for groups and individuals and allows them to shift their belief and story in the moment.
A belief is something that just is. “The sky is blue”
A story is something that happens over and over again. “That’s the story of my life.” or “This always happens to me.” or “No one listens to me.”
Your story can feel like reality, but you’re actually creating and controlling it.
“I was learning bio energetics; I was a body builder; and all of a sudden one morning I woke up with arthritis.”
Shiraz had pain in every joint of his body. Some days he had to sip his meals through a straw because his jaw was so swollen and painful. He spent nights lying in agony. He tried to lead a normal life, but there was always constant pain.
Shiraz tried nutritional changes, medication, supplements, and acupuncture.
Everything would work for a little while, then not work at all.
“Why were things only temporary?”
After 20 years Shiraz looked for any treatments he hadn’t yet tried. His father mentioned a program in India, and away he went.
Shiraz found a man in India who simply asked Shiraz questions
about his life for two weeks. Being in India, Shiraz expected reiki or some
form of hands-on healing. That’s not what he got.
Then came the diagnosis from the Indian guru:
“Unconsciously, you believe you’re responsible for everyone in your life. You’ve created this belief.”
Shiraz wondered, what does that have to do with arthritis?
The guru continued,
“It’s too much work to be responsible for everyone. You found a solution. If you’re in bed and in pain you don’t have to be responsible for anyone, and you don’t have to feel guilty. It’s a solution for a problem you don’t know you have.”
“That’s messed up!”
Shiraz replied, “If that’s true, all I have to do is say I’m not responsible for anyone but me and I should be healed.”
The guru told Shiraz that he had to believe it.
Miraculously, the next morning, Shiraz woke up without pain, with
no inflammation, and with more mobility than he’d had in years.
“I’m freaking out!”
Shiraz had a complete shift in consciousness:
“What you think is a problem, is typically the solution. If you’ve got a consistent or reoccurring problem in your life, it’s the solution. Most people don’t get that, and they can’t fix it.”
For Shiraz, the solution to the story he was creating for himself
“This is not just about illness, it’s why some people don’t have relationships, money, or a successful career. The lack of those things is actually the solution to something else.”
Shiraz and his popular programs can help you rewrite your
reality using his Energetic Magic.
“It’s all about energy. Your beliefs are energy. The stories you tell are energy. When you shift your energy, you shift your story. Your reality shifts like magic. It’s incredibly simple, but it’s not easy.”
Shiraz explained that our beliefs and stories become addictions. We read books, go to seminars, try the newest thing, and we can get short term relief from our challenges, but they always return. Why? Because it’s an addiction and we go through withdrawal.
“Comfortable and safe is where everyone wants to be, but comfortable and safe doesn’t mean happy.”
One client Shiraz worked with was frustrated because things were always going wrong for him. Shiraz helped this man to see he was self-sabotaging circumstances so he could fix them. Be fixing the problems he was creating, the got a drug-like fix by being seen as the hero.
This same man began working with Shiraz and started to see positive changes in his story. After three weeks however, the man started feeling anxious about everything going right. Finally, when something went wrong, the man felt relieved.
“It was then he understood the addiction he had to his story. When a story ends up like we expect, we get to be right. We get a fix from being right.”
The universe works on resistance. The less resistance you have
to outcomes the more the universe flows. When you’re trying to create something,
you must be willing to have the best possible outcome.
Shiraz claims it can take 6 months to rewrite your story and make it stick. Your brain grows neurons in a river of consciousness and these neurons begin to control how you think. To get out of it you must create contrary neurons.
Shiraz teaches classes on his Energetic Magic method.
“By the end of a two day course everyone is doing Energetic Magic on everyone else. No muscle testing required; it’s just reading energy.”
Perhaps it’s time for you to consider your stories. Are they working for you or against you? Shiraz has Monthly Magic programs for his clients, and this New Years Eve, he is hosting an event to rid people of the crap experienced in 2021, and set themselves up for more successful stories in 2022.
“This journey helps us recognize the denied shadow of ourselves which we wouldn’t know without meeting our opposite twin. Without this journey we may not see this part of ourselves. It alchemizes fear and transmutes it into love. We become aligned with our soul.”
Elle Hari is describing a condition if, when followed to completion, will help us accept and develop love for ourselves. The journey she has written about and talked about on our show is a twin flame journey.
A twin flame journey was brand new to Todd and me. Therefore, we started with the basics. We asked Elle to define the difference (if any) between a soul mate and a twin flame
A twin flame is the person who shares your soul. Everyone has a twin flame, and only one twin flame. Two bodies, one soul.
A soul mate is another soul entirely (any living being) that resonates with your soul. Most people think of romantic partners as soul mates, and it can be. However, soul mates can be family members, friends, strangers, and even pets.
“Our soul is energy and originates in the fifth dimension. Our physical world is in the third dimension, which has a completely different energy paradigm. In 3D everything is opposite and/or in duality with each other. Up/down, hot/cold, etc. Our souls choose to incarnate here because we must experience opposites.”
Elle teaches to
live in this 3D energetic environment, the soul creates an opposite of itself.
One half of the soul goes to each twin flame; each having an opposing polarity
to the other. We may never physically meet our twin flame, but if we do the
polarities of each twin flame come into play.
“A twin flame journey begins when paths cross and the soul recognizes itself in the body of the other twin. At that point, the polarities become activated. Twin flames are drawn together like magnets. They feel as though they’ve never connected as much with someone else as they are to this person. They feel at home.”
You might think meeting your twin flame would be an amazing experience. However, Elle explains the way the magnetic energy to one’s twin flame can be challenging.
“The polarities manifest physically as a push-pull. One twin will push while the other twin pulls. The push twin energy is moving toward their twin, and the pull twin’s energy is pulling away from the push twin. If one is pushing and the other pulling in tandem, you can imagine it’s impossible for them to come together physically for any sustained amount of time. The polarities must be neutralized.”
Elle describes the
push-pull energy as fear-based energy, while the soul is love energy. To
assimilate on this planet in the 3D paradigm of duality love must overcome the
fear. Not always easy.
It may look like the push twin is obsessed with the pull twin. It can be devastating when a breakup happens. The energy felt when you meet your twin flame is addictive, and if it’s lost all thoughts are obsessed with a reunion to the pull twin, and the push twin may have trouble getting over the loss.
“The soul will not allow you to focus on anything else once you recognize your twin. To neutralize or balance the energy into love, the push must stop. When the push stops, the pull will return. It’s not easy to stop obsessing about losing a part of your soul.”
Elle shared three indications
you may be on a twin flame journey, which begins at soul recognition.
1. An obsession
2. Core wound pain
“Domestic violence, suicide, and stalking can be an indication of a twin flame journey, but people don’t know to consider this possibility. If you’re fixated on someone or are trying to manifest a relationship, you may be on a twin flame journey.”
Elle’s twin flame
“I had just gotten through a divorce. I had two young children. I met a guy younger than I was, and we connected deeply. In six week’s, he was gone. I felt like my soul was ripped out, leaving a gaping hole and intense pain. I could not function. I would lay on the floor crying, barely able to care for my kids.
For 6 months I consulted with psychics, spiritual advisors, spell-casters, voodoo mambo, and a therapist. I was trying anything to rid myself of this physical and emotional pain.
I finally spoke with a telephone psychic who mentioned twin flames to me for the first time. I Googled the meaning. I paid this psychic for a session and within two weeks I was functioning normally. Three months later my twin flame came back to me.”
Elle is still with
her twin flame today. Not always easy since she is the push twin. Push energy
will reveal itself again, and it’s a constant process learning to neutralize
that. However, because Elle understands the shared energy with her twin flame
she has become fearless in the relationship and has come to accept and love
“The doubt is always there. Your soul guides you to the journey for a reason. You can also be magnetized with a close soul mate, which can cause confusion and doubt at times.”
Elle was inspired to author her book to teach the truth and bring clarity to the twin flame journey. Many people have reached out to her, and she has now become a coach.
“So many people are awakening to their twin flame journey.”
Elle offers a Magnetize your Twin Flame coaching program where she teaches clients to access and work with their soul’s energy. One hundred percent of her students have magnetized their twin flame back into their lives.
“Never outsource your mission in the world to someone else.”
Alina Boyte was our recent guest. She is the founder and director of Changemaker Institute, a brand new (since March 2021) public benefit corporation.
According to Wikipedia, public benefit corporations, also known as benefit corporations, are for-profit businesses whose charters commit them to social or environmental missions, not just maximizing shareholder value. These corporations take into account how other stakeholders such as communities and the environment will be affected by their actions.
Alina has years of experience in law as her
Stanford Law Grad with a PhD in copyright law and history
Professor at Mississippi College Law
Awarded Cambridge Commonwealth Scholarship
Awarded Fulbright Scholarship
Awarded Lieberman Fellowship at Stanford
“What I’ve come to realize in teaching law and attending law conferences is that things we know and talk about in academic circles never leave the ivory tower. We talk about it, debate it, and author a book only our mothers will read.”
Businesses don’t always get the information which allows them to apply important tools in a way that makes sense.
“The mission of Changemaker Institute is to take what we know in academia and bring it to business. You can be a profitable business and influence social good at the same time.”
One company in Mississippi – Musee Bath – sells bath bombs and bath products. They influence social good by employing marginalized women such as former felons, domestic abuse survivors, and the homeless.
Musee makes handcrafted, natural products in Madison County, Mississippi with the mission of restoring lives by providing dignified work for vulnerable people in our community. We primarily hire women in recovery, people with disabilities, and people who have lived in chronic poverty. Our products are handmade in the USA with ethically sourced, natural ingredients. Our bath balms are cruelty-free, paraben-free, and sulfate-free and safe for all skin types.
Their bath bombs
are adorable, and I’m going to gift a few to my granddaughters.
“Social impact is not just the responsibility of governments. Ordinary people can have impact. Businesses make an impact by who they employ, how they treat their employees, who they do business with, and the business model they develop.”
types of business, more people may return to prison and/or to situations that
bring unhappy consequences.
Another example of a socially impactful business is Patagonia. They claim:
We’re in business to save our home planet.
Patagonia is Alina’s dream social impact company. They are a clothing company careful about causing no harm in the production of their merchandise. If something the consumer has purchased gets torn, the company will replace it rather than have it get thrown away. They’ll even collect your old clothes and recycle them for you.
“Patagonia is making very conscious decisions and considering their impact for not only their customers, but for you, me, and the planet.”
Consumers will feel better about purchasing from a company which is conscious about social issues because it allows them to also be part of the solution to those same issues.
How does Alina begin collaborating with a company about their social impact?
1. Get clear on what impact looks like for the business. Each company can make a difference with something that is unique to them.
Start planning the ways the impact will be made – whether it’s the environment or marginalized communities
Consider strengths and weakness currently in the business. How is the business positioned in the market?
Start thinking about a specific outcome the business wants to be part of. Ending poverty? Ending hunger?
Make it happen through reverse engineering or other ways.
“Look at the Sustainable Development Goals of the UN. No one would question the goodness of any of those outcomes.”
According to Wikipedia, The Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) or Global Goals are a collection of 17 interlinked global goals designed to be a “blueprint to achieve a better and more sustainable future for all”.The SDGs were set up in 2015 by the United Nations General Assembly (UN-GA) and are intended to be achieved by the year 2030.
Alina claims you and/or your business can make sustainable change by focusing on changing on of four modalities:
“Let’s say a company wants to empower kids. They could focus on changing norms in education. Or, they could consider changing architecture – the infrastructure of teaching children. They could also create a new market where kids have opportunities they don’t have currently.”
People are more
conscious about how they spend their money and are more likely to do business
with a company who is making social impact as opposed to those who are not.
The Changemakers Lab™ workshop will provide you with:
1. A solid framework to let you think about and create social change that calls to you
An easy-to-implement process to take you from confused and overwhelmed to clarity about your path to profitability and impact, and
A straightforward system you can put in place to create a business that is good for you, people, and the planet.
Like a lab, you’ll study social change and record personal insights about how to make a unique difference in the world, craft your impact story, and design a business that is good for you, for people, and for the planet in a workbook that we will provide.
And at the end of the workshop, you will have a book filled with your unique insights and a plan to put together an impact-based business that you can confidently talk to investors, customers, board members, and the public about.
Imagine blowing air
into a balloon. You keep exhaling into the latex as the balloon expands more and
more, getting bigger and bigger. Eventually the balloon will not be able to
expand any longer and it. will. burst.
Our recent guest, Janine Naus used this metaphor to explain possible outcomes if we don’t learn to handle our trauma and grief. We can explode with unhealthy emotions if we don’t learn to be more mindful of the effects which trauma and grief have on us.
Janine is an internationally recognized Grief and Trauma
Relief Specialist; a Certified Life, Spiritual, and Energetic Coach; a
Certified Calm, Accepting, Resilient & Empathetic (CARE) Trauma
Practitioner, and a best-selling author.
“We can move through trauma. No matter how difficult it is there are steps to move through it.”
In her books Janine offers tools to examine trauma and grief in all the areas we experience them. Her programs are outlined by four pillars:
“You’ll also be given opportunity to journal. When I let my thoughts come out on paper I release what’s going on. Then I can read my narrative several months later and see the growth I’ve made. I can see my life has changed for the better.”
Janine reminds us there are differing steps of healing from trauma and grief based on our individual journey and our ability to process the emotions we feel. To continue her healing process, Janine keeps a picture of herself as a baby behind her while in virtual conversations (as she was on Life Mastery Radio).
“That picture is something my mother gave me. I put it behind my shoulder where I can look back at it as I talk with clients. It’s a reminder that I was a happy baby. We all came into the world beaming. Life gives us difficult experiences, but we can return to the happy state we began with.”
Trauma and grief go together
and can be associated with any loss, such as divorce, abuse, job loss, loss of a
loved one, etc.
“All of it is very traumatic. It’s important to have choice in how we heal from the trauma since we had no choice in the experience to begin with.”
Janine explains it’s helpful to keep perspective by asking “why”
Why am I here on this earth? Why am I feeling these emotions?
Why is this experience happening in my life right now, and why do I need to
learn from it?
“Emotions are energy that needs to move through our bodies. Like that expanding balloon, it’s dangerous to hold it in. Let energy flow outward. Thoughts stick in our minds as well and may show up as shame. It’s scary to be vulnerable and face what we’re feeling. However, energy needs to move and flow.”
Janine reminds us that any emotions we feel are okay. We can
open a door to the possibility of seeing the situation differently when we step
outside of ourselves and witness it from a unique perspective.
“Give yourself grace and space. Keep your mind on the process of healing and be gentle with yourself. Breathe deeply and stay present by narrating your actions.”
For instance, “I’m going to the kitchen and make myself a sandwich”, or “I’m going to take a warm bath while listening to my favorite music”.
Coming into an awareness of the present is key to healing. Know
that you won’t be stuck in this unhappy place forever.
“We are already the happy baby in our nostalgic photos. There is a higher power and connection when you can see the bigger view. We are never alone. Reach out for help.”
During the healing process it’s helpful to focus on our bare minimum needs. Self-care and pampering yourself as much as possible will be important. Don’t worry about the extras – ask others to help.
Creating Heaven Wherever I AM is Janine’s book series.
“The I AM is our connection. It’s also the solution. I AM is your healing strategy. I AM is your Godly sense. I AM is a descriptor and title. I AM is who you are on the inside.”
Quoting from Joseph Benner’s book The Impersonal Life:
I AM the Tree of Life within you. My Life will and must push forth, but It will do it by gradual and steady growth. You cannot come into your fruitage before you have grown to it. Remember, My Life is all the time building you up into the perfection of health and strength and beauty, that must express outwardly as It is even now expressing within. You who have begun to realize I AM within, but have not yet learned to commune with Me, listen and learn now.
“Your experience will give you lessons to create yourself anew. You’ll create a unique way to express your story to share with others. You are creating love and creating your own gifts.”
Janine has a gift for our listeners – A 30 minute call with her to talk about one challenge you’re experiencing. You’ll get a strategy, a tool, and better understanding about ways to move forward.
“You’ll learn ways to cope and respond from a unique perspective.”
“I loved them. They were inspiring and life changing. They increased my confidence, and my skillfulness in relationships. At sixteen I knew that’s what I wanted to do for other people.”
Leah Fink is describing her experience while attending personal development courses as a teenager. She went on to earn a degree in outdoor leadership and became a social worker. Her understanding of mental health expanded, and she worked at a wilderness retreat for troubled youth.
“It was meaningful to watch the youth gain confidence, understand themselves, and rebuild relationships.”
Leah learned mental illness is often treated as
a reaction to behavior.
“When your child is doing great, you give them a pat on the head. When they’re not doing great you send them to a counselor. The same thing happens to us as adults. We aren’t taught preventive or coping skills before we need them.”
and ability includes activities which foster a better understanding of self and
others. Building these skills results in happier and more successful lives. She
owns All Thrive, where her public speaking and engaging workshops strengthen
people, solidify their relationships, and change lives.
“Relationships are essential to our wellbeing – relationships to self, others, and aspects of our lives. It’s hard to recover from a damaged relationship.”
Leah offered her definition of wellbeing:
Look at the world as happy and fulfilling rather than the opposite
Mental attitude. What is limiting your mindset? Knowing how to unblock the
limitations you put on yourself
Healing. Trauma, large and
small builds up in us and healing is necessary
Coping Skills. Boredom, social media, and distraction are often go-to coping skills, but are not a solution.
“Belonging is a core need for everyone. All behavior is a way to fill an emotional need. It helps to understand why the behavior and why the emotion.”
Leah’s mission is to help protect people
from the pain of damaged relationships.
“The quality and quantity of relationships affects not only our mental health, but our physical health and longevity. Literally how long you live is impacted by your relationships.”
To help her clients improve relationships, Leah uses a personality typology tool called True Colours. By understanding yourself and others, you will value your relationships more readily, and treat others in a language they understand.
BLUE: emotional type and needs validation through emotion. Cares a lot about relationships. They are sincere when asking about your family. They are looking for deep meaningful conversations. They get stressed when they don’t have that such as covid and not able to hug or see family members.
GREEN: logical and analytical. I “think” and “why?” statements are common. Often looking for information and resources. They get stressed when they don’t have information and must make a quick decision. Give them what they want – answer questions, info and space.
GOLD: these are the organized, planner people. They have their next five years planned and talk about systems and schedules. They’ve been stressed during covid since they haven’t been able to plan. Help them make a structure or offer to help with their plan.
ORANGE: spontaneous and adventurous; the life of the party. When they get stressed they may lash out, and push boundaries because they don’t like rules and limitations. You can help these people by doing something fun in the moment.
Can you recognize yourself, family, and closest friends? It’s helpful to keep in mind how you can help others to destress. They are interacting in the best way they know how.
“Don’t box people in but recognize that you can positively influence your relationships.”
Leah says curiosity is critical for relationships. Ask questions to gain knowledge about people. Communicate where you naturally come from. Knowing what stresses and destresses you will be helpful.
“Recognize that people tend to view their own actions through good intentions but view others’ actions through bad intentions. Always assume a good intention.”
Leah reminds us it’s not always easy to retrain
ourselves. We’ve practiced unhealthy relationship skills our whole lives, and
the best we can do is set an intention every day to work toward healthy relationships.
“I had two credit cards. I made the minimum payment on one credit card, then used the available balance on that card to pay the minimum payment on a second credit card, then used the available balance on the second card to buy groceries.”
Because she’s “been there” our most recent guest, Heather Abbott wants to help those who need more control of finances and happiness in their life. Her passion comes from having given her power away both financially and emotionally in her former marriage. After 25 years of unrecognized emotional and mental abuse, Heather was standing three feet away from her abusive husband when he shot himself in an act of suicide.
“It’s far easier to have someone shoot themselves in front of you than to be mentally abused. It was the abuse which gave me nightmares.”
Heather is now known as the Prosperity Pro, and host of the Prosperity & Possibilities podcast. She is a CPA, financial advisor, mindset coach, and the author of the upcoming book, Financial Empowerment for Women.
Using a combination of right brain mindset work with decades of experience and knowledge in money matters, Heather’s clients have their finances demystified and learn financial management is not only attainable, but enjoyable. Add into the recipe Heather’s positive outlook, and she’ll teach you to live your best life.
“Many people (especially women) are taking over finances for the first time after trauma, loss of a significant other, or loss of wealth. These individuals need help with basics. You don’t want to overwhelm them especially when dealing with sudden loss of a spouse.”
Can everyone be a millionaire? Yes.
“You get to see the first step, but no more steps until you take the first one. You must trust. The first step to financial freedom is setting the intention. You must believe you can do it, and that you can control your life.”
You can use a positive affirmation such as, “This is my day, and I can’t wait to see what miracles are in store”.
This is contrary to what Heather used to do to cope with her abusive situation. Like Scarlett O’Hara from Gone with the Wind, she’d say…
“I can’t deal with that now. If I think about it now I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about it tomorrow”.
“We often live in denial. I didn’t realize I was abused until he had been dead for four months. I shielded myself emotionally, and I worked at being positive constantly.”
Heather shared some advice with our audience:
Set a timer for 60 seconds and think only positive thoughts for that one minute.
Practice clearing negative blocks until it becomes a habit. At the same time, you’ll be building muscles of resistance to situations that will try to knock you over.
Stop talking about the problems.
“If you talk about the problem, the problem increases. You can’t see the solution since you’re only focused on the problem. Find the good.”
Heather explained it takes 16 seconds for
momentum to get going. Everything in our reality has two sides, and we may
focus on the lack we feel rather than allowing the abundance to appear.
“If you’re a realist you’re a pessimist. Reality is not the present because by the time you think about it, it’s past.”
Heather quoted a poem she remembered from her
Life is what you make it, so make it bright and true; and if to you it’s gloomy, it’s not the world, it’s you
If you have positivity, you’ll have money. It’s important to have clarity about your numbers at every income level.
“Your mindset is your financial container, and if your mindset is small, you have a container too small. You will only be financially successful when you increase the size of your container.
Not knowing your numbers is like building a house on an unstable foundation.”
Heather’s coaching prowess is powerful because of her past. She helps individuals, businesses, and youth
Heather has an event coming up, and she is giving it to our listeners FREE! (a $297 value) There is no replay, so you must take advantage of the November 9 workshop. Use code MYGIFT when you register at this LINK: Financial Clarity for Prosperity
“Life mastery is most easily defined by what life mastery isn’t.”
Sherry Stirling Fernandez
Sherry described what life mastery isn’t as: feeling out of
control, stressed out, spinning your wheels, and getting nowhere; mad at
yourself for making bad choices, then making the same choices again, etc.
“It doesn’t feel good to be out of control. It feels better to be the master of what you eat, your finances, your relationships, mindset, etcetera. Happiness is moving forward toward our infinite potential.”
Sherry Stirling Fernandez
Sherry’s book focuses on eight areas of Life Mastery, which is
goal setting and habit-forming behaviors.
Everything she writes about is from personal experience and the result
of her study of principles of success. Besides being an author, Sherry teaches
personal development. She’s a speaker and mentor.
Her family had nothing when Sherry was young. In that desperate situation she always wanted to be successful. She searched out methods and tools, and through trial and error has learned the secrets to life mastery. Sherry hopes her book will shorten the learning process for you.
“It feels big to try to get from here to there. Everything feels out of control, and we don’t know where to start. Humans were not designed to grow in great big leaps. We create success in little steps every day.”
Sherry Stirling Fernandez
Sherry mentions how the very act of starting something will begin
to bring life into better focus. She’s learned that good systems, good tools,
and good instruction are key.
“It’s who you are becoming that attracts success to you. It’s a constant, confident walk toward what you want.”
Sherry Stirling Fernandez
Sherry’s book instructs the reader to start with simple habits you
want to develop. She provides a tracking sheet as part of her system.
“You’ll track your progress and be accountable to your list. It’s the bomb for developing habits every day.”
Sherry Stirling Fernandez
Sherry explained how actually checking off items completed every
day keeps us motivated.
“You only have so much will power in a day. When you create a habit you don’t have to depend on will power any longer.”
Sherry Stirling Fernandez
Sherry calls herself a mentor rather than coach because her system
teaches real skills. Sherry practices all the skills she preaches, and her
clients know she has done exactly what she’s asking them to do.
For instance, if someone comes to Sherry only wanting to grow wealth, she won’t work with them. She feels ignoring the other 7 areas of life mastery would not bring them the desired outcome.
“Growing wealth means working on all 8 areas of life mastery. Work on all of you.”
Sherry Stirling Fernandez
Sherry’s book is three parts:
The Why – her story
The What – covers each of the 8 areas to set goals in and master
The How – includes the tracking sheet, written affirmations, and an assessment.
The tracking sheet is free on her website, and she promises results right away when you start using it.
“The key to a better community is a better you. The rest will take care of itself.”
Sherry Stirling Fernandez
Well, then…are you headed toward the top 5-10 percent?
Our most recent guest, Dr. Nahla Khaddage Bou-Diab, wrote a book for her two sons, which she gratefully now shares with the rest of us. She joined us all the way from her home country of Lebanon to be a guest on our show.
“I’ve had a rich life experience with every possible hardship.”
Despite this list (which
is incomplete) Nahla has discovered ways to unleash her personal power to not
only endure but thrive during all of life’s challenges. Through exercises
provided in her book, we can learn to do the same.
Nahla suggests people should consider how their perspective affects their happiness. You either look at life as a victim of the experience, or as a learner of life.
Nahla was born in Lebanon and immigrated to Canada as a small child. She was horribly mistreated there by her classmates and teachers. This did not stop Nahla. She discovered ways to be happy.
“We are not here to simply live, work, and die. We are here to experience, to learn to love, and to create. Stop and recognize that we are powerful. We have free will. We become victims by surrendering to someone else.”
Dr. Nahla Khaddage Bou-Diab
As a naïve young woman
in the workplace enduring harassment, Nahla ignored her manager’s advances and
never let him control her thoughts.
“Our thoughts are our magical powers. The challenge is implementation. If we master our thoughts, we master our emotions.”
Dr. Nahla Khaddage Bou-Diab
How can we make such a
“We adopt a lifestyle which enables us to live in a postitive state. Life tries to keep us distracted, fearful, anxious, lost, and doubtful.”
Dr. Nahla Khaddage Bou-Diab
Nahla’s book teaches us to connect, trust, and accept. There is a power which created us, but we become too distracted by day-to-day life to recognize it. Her book provides exercises. She uses a comparison of physical exercise to spiritual exercise.
“A lean body requires a change of lifestyle. You must do the same thing for your spirit. People living a positive lifestyle will never be victims.”
Dr. Nahla Khaddage Bou-Diab
Nahla asks us to
consider some questions:
What makes you happy?
Why do you exist?
What are you surrendering to?
What program are we running in our thoughts?
“Ninety five percent of our behavior is triggered by subconscious thoughts. We are running a program and we can become unaware of our thoughts. You can turn your circumstances around with your thoughts and the amazing power that’s there for us to use.”
Dr. Nahla Khaddage Bou-Diab
Nahla mentioned a way
she ignites her magical powers of controlling her thoughts:
“If I notice myself becoming rude, I’m going to question this and wonder why I’m being rude. The moment I ask, I change the programming. Everything is distracting us from our powers. The moment we are brave enough to calm down we will feel miracles happening.”
Dr. Nahla Khaddage Bou-Diab
We are not designed to
live as individuals.
“You need to be well connected and strong spiritually before you can connect to others. Having no community is a dangerous place to be.”
Dr. Nahla Khaddage Bou-Diab
Negative energies cannot
sustain themselves too long. Your healing and recovery are faster when you live
a positive lifestyle.
“One key element that gave me strength is the belief of a higher power. I loved God and wanted to be worthy no matter how hard things got.”
Dr. Nahla Khaddage Bou-Diab
Today, Nahla looks back and discovers with every challenging event there was a happy ending. She is grateful for clean air, trees, and healthy food. A routine of meditation, exercise, and a healthy diet leaves Nahla filled with love and energy at the end of every day.
“Dreaming is one of our innate functionalities. Every night I went to sleep dreaming of something beautiful. I dreamed about my future husband when I was a six-year-old. Dreaming is therapeutic while going through suffering.”
Dr. Nahla Khaddage Bou-Diab
Her husband had been dreaming of Nahla as well.
“Enjoyment of life is far stronger than living in fear. It’s much harder to clean up the negativity once you’ve let it in. Keep the door closed and be selective of who you let in your ‘house’. Practice a lifestyle that keeps your thoughts in control.”
Dr. Nahla Khaddage Bou-Diab
We must go through
challenges, but we don’t have to suffer through them.
Has your life ever felt like a Rubik’s Cube? Have experiences beyond your control gotten you out of alignment with who you know you are or want to be? Are you tired of trying repeatedly to line up needs of your life with what you want, and failing?
Wendy Darling has been called an enigma, a miracle worker, and a fairy godmother. Although these are names others have given her, she admits to be very creative, connected, and strategic when it comes to opening the minds of her clients to the miracles of life – the solution to the Rubik’s Cube, perhaps.
“Albert Einstein said there are two ways to look at life. Either nothing is a miracle, or everything is.”
Wendy explains miracles can be a surprise phone call, an unexpected opportunity, and/or a new perspective.
“Miracles are everywhere all the time. Pay attention to what you’re grateful for. What really matters? There are blessings with every challenge, and always opportunity.”
“My life was feeling un-miraculous. I was forced to dig deep and find a way to make the shift.”
Wendy herself had a
life-changing accident 30 years ago. She was scheduled to travel for business,
and despite being sick, forced her workaholic self to get to the airport. While
there, she fainted and fell 25 feet.
“I bungee jumped without the cord.”
Her right leg was shattered, her back fractured, and Wendy suffered a traumatic brain injury which wasn’t immediately diagnosed. At the time she wasn’t sure she’d walk again, and then she was brought to her knees.
“On week four of my hospital stay, my husband arrived with bags packed and announced he was leaving me. At the divorce hearing, he was awarded full custody of our 4-year-old son. This was the final blow. There was nothing left in my life which defined my identity. I was praying for a miracle.”
Taking a suggestion from her mother, Wendy began to mediate for the first time in her life. She learned that her mind and body would only relax when she allowed a melodic type of singing to awaken and be released from inside her. She would meditate and sing in the closet.
Soon after that, Wendy
became aware of her intuitiveness and ability to see the energetic field of
“Little by little I accepted who I was and began to work with the Miraculous Living Method.”
Wendy says her method creates a unique frequency in a person which allows the undercurrent of their past experiences to be released. They are no longer held back. Her method includes brain and mind training, so their deepest desires are achieved.
Like completing the
Rubik’s cube, clients’ results come easier and faster. People Wendy works with
make more money, attract loving relationships, heal from emotional trauma, lose
“I feel very blessed that I can offer this today – healing the past to design the future. The undercurrent of your past experience is taken care of by the process, and you don’t have to relive experiences to benefit from the process.”
Wendy says it’s important for us to take a step back and decide what we really want. Whatever IT is, we need to be honest and reach out for support. She offers a jumpstart package teaching her methodology. A typical time to work with her is three months once a week.
“If you could wave a magic wand, what would you really want your life to look like?”
Miracles are a co-creative
experience. We must be asking for miracles, then be open to receive them. And love
has everything to do with it.
“When we love we can positively impact thousands of people because of the vibration and energy we put off. I fill myself up first, then send love to my neighborhood, town, and my state. We can help our world get into a much healthier place. The one thing you can do to shift your life is provide for yourself and serve someone else.”
Wendy includes a prayer at the end of each chapter of her book. She did so because prayer helps people connect to the higher power of universal intelligence and opens our hearts and ears to our inner guidance system.
On Wendy’s website (HERE) you’ll find an RQ Assessment (Relationship Quotient) which you can take to learn about the ways you interact with others.
Be sure to contact Wendy because she can provide the rubric to that dang unsolvable Rubik’s Cube! Want a jumpstart? Email: Wendy@WendyDarling.com
Clare's book,THE ILLUSION OF LIFE AND DEATH: MIND, CONSCIOUSNESS, AND ETERNAL BEING helps readers understand, "The end of this lifetime is as important and miraculous as the beginning. It truly is a time to celebrate the life—and the death—of the person."
As a Hospice volunteer for two years after the death of her significant other, Clare Goldsberry became acutely aware of just how important it is for the dying person and the person's family and friends to understand living and dying.
Hear her story tomorrow 10:00 am PST live on Facebook
After helping her significant other, Brent, go through eighteen months of living with and eventually dying from esophageal cancer, Clare wanted to share not only his story of fearless living and graceful dying, but also include the broader picture of what living fearlessly and dying gracefully means for all of us.