Love the Second Time Around

by | Jun 4, 2019

“Real love is a daily, earthy, grounded, simple as dirt yet profound as poetry experience“. ~ Dr. Gary Salyer

Dr. Gary Salyer was our guest on Life Mastery Radio with Todd Alan back in April of this year, but the recording of the show was not usable. That mishap had a happily ever after ending though, because we got to bring him back for another conversation about LOVE!

Even though LOVE is felt in the heart, our brains actually influence how we give and receive LOVE.

In his book, Safe to Love Again, Dr. Salyer teaches this concept.

How does the brain of someone who’s created a loving, lasting relationship work deep down inside? What are the insider secrets for getting a secure brain that just knows how to pick Mr. or Ms. Right, and then insures that the relationship lasts for a lifetime in a way that feels good?

“I’ve learned we must train our brains to have the love we want.” ~ Dr. Gary Salyer

  • Love is a full body-based feeling that resonates in every cell of your body.
  • Genuine, secure love is sharing a host of little moments with each other as you go through your day.
  • Love is seeing a smiling face or hearing a soothing voice as you walk through the door at the end of a day
  • It’s stopping your life to listen when your beloved is overwhelmed or troubled;
  • It’s praising your partner for the smallest of achievements just because you take notice.

Like a two-sided coin, for love to exist there are feelings we need to feel, and rights we need to have.

The feelings:
  1. Welcomed with Joy
  2. Worthy and Nourished
  3. Cherished and Protected
  4. Empowered with Choice

“A brain that is aligned with these four feelings easily creates a profound, intimate, deep, calming, and empowering We. From this We extraordinary couples are born, nurtured, and raised.” ~ Dr. Gary Salyer

The Rights:
  1. The Right to Exist
  2. The Right to have Your Needs Met
  3. The Right to Separate and Belong
  4. The Right to Create Your Own Experience
  5. The Right to Assert with Voice and Choice
  6. The Right to Love and Be Loved

It helps to identify our attachment styles as well. Are you secure, anxious, or avoidant?

“When you show up for love in any way, you never know who it will affect, and how it will change their life.” ~ Gary Salyer

Dr. Salyer encourages couples to understand the “pattern” as the problem, and not the “partner”. We can all be better giving and receiving long-lasting, fulfilling love. It is the key to our common future.

Join Dr. Gary’s movement for LOVE. He invites you to make LOVE your personal mission in life.
Here’s the link to join the movement: www.garysalyer.com/lovemovement

It’s time

Settle for Less than Being Truly Loved

by | Apr 23, 2019

“Every child on the planet begins life by asserting their natural self. Rights allow us to express our unique, authentic human experience in the world. When we get negative responses from our environment, we naturally suppress various aspects of our original, authentic essence. We’ll restrain our life force, give up our needs, deny our desire for support, limit the experience we want, choose what we don’t want, or settle for less than being truly loved.” ~ Dr. Gary Salyer

Our April 23rd guest on Life Mastery Radio was Dr. Gary Salyer. His book, “Safe to Love Again” was published a few months ago. As a radio show co-host, I knew this book could be important to individuals looking for love the first, second, or third time around; but I didn’t expect it to have a take-away for myself. I’ve been married for over 36 years to the same man

Preparing for the interview, I read the first several chapters of Dr. Salyer’s book, and was surprised to learn there was much I didn’t know about love.

I was intrigued with the story of Paul, one of Dr. Salyer’s clients. Paul had been through 2 broken marriages, even though he’d been taught examples of lasting love from his parents, grandparents, and so forth. He was the first in generations of family who’d been divorced; and he couldn’t figure out why.

While working with Dr. Salyer, Paul kept repeating “Love will turn on me; when is love going to turn on me?” This feeling of mistrust in his two wives led them to “turn on him” because he couldn’t fully commit to love. He had created the situation of love “turning on him” because he expected it to happen.

Dr. Salyer discovered how this feeling originated in Paul when he was 5 years old. I won’t give too much away, because I want you to read his book, however Paul’s “truth” was not THE truth. As a child, he had interpreted a situation of his father beating him as “love turning on him”. But, when an older brother heard Paul’s interpretation of the same event, Paul realized his father was saving his life, not turning on him.

Unfortunately, Paul had undermined all his relationships because of a childhood feeling. FEELINGS, I learned, are what shapes our ability to be loved and love well. FEELINGS, not logic.

Conestoga wagons were an image Dr. Salyer put in my head to illustrate the “ruts” of love we find ourselves in because of feelings early in life. During the pioneer migration of early America, these wagon wheels would get stuck in the deep ruts formed by hundreds of wagons gone before.


“You better enjoy the rut you’re in, because you’ll be in it awhile.”

These ruts, or styles of love get us caught in repeating certain behaviors which can undermine relationships, like Paul’s.

Dr. Salyer spoke of an epidemic of unworthiness.

There are so many tools available in his book to help you find love or secure love in your life. There are 4 feelings, and 6 rights we all NEED to receive and give love.

Read his book to know more. Find out if he’s holding a workshop near you. Download his online workbook to help you get started. Safe to Love Again