This cohost felt a unique kinship to our guest, Rev. Misty Tyme even before the show began on April 9th. She and I have a twin brother named John. We are both asked frequently if we’re identical twins. (hello,…male/female twins can’t be identical)
Rev. Misty felt estranged and different from her family while growing up. So did I.
Rev. Misty had an unstable and unhappy childhood. So did I.
Our mothers had made bad choses, which eventually soured our relationships with them; and our mothers both died of Alzheimer’s, which we viewed as a mixed blessing. (Both were happy during their final years because they didn’t have memory of the pain, anger, and sorrows of life)
Lastly, Rev. Misty Tyme and I have travelled a painfully, wild ride of forgiveness, and have written about it.
Rev. Misty says, “We do not have a time machine to go back and grab those bygone memories, even if we wish it, rub a lamp, light a candle, pray, or throw a tantrum.”
“We CAN affect our future by working on the FEELINGS that are left over from past situations. You have to look back to move forward.”
The chronic pain of non-forgiveness is like putting your hand on a stove burner set to low. Keep your hand there 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Now, try to have a normal day. ~ Rev. Misty Tyme
Rev. Misty identified tools of forgiveness:
- Therapy (been there)
- Journaling (done that)
- Spiritual guidance (been there)
- Prayer (done that)
- Meditation (been there)
- Reading (done that)
- Dialogue (been there)
- Ceremony (done that)
- Time (got the t-shirt)
Rev. Misty rightly stated (although rather humorously) “Life is lifey; and people are peopley.” What she meant is that our expectations of others can set us up for frustration in relationships due to unfulfilled expectations. We can develop SMOLDERING RESENTMENT.
“Some people don’t have the SKILL or the WILL to meet our expectations”
Forgiveness does NOT mean you condone or accept inappropriate behavior; but forgiveness DOES mean you have to shift your expectations and set appropriate boundaries.
I highly encourage you to get a copy of Rev. Misty’s book: The Forgiveness Solution
To only way to truly and completely heal from the effects of others on your life, is to forgive. You must forgive. I know this to be true, and I’m grateful to Rev. Misty Tyme for providing a detailed forgiveness process. It will change your life.
Listen to the podcast of Rev. Misty Tyme’s interview: The Forgiveness Algorithm