The brain can’t tell what’s real and what isn’t. You can only stuff so much stuff into it.
Doug Stoddard, a Habit Breaker Expert, and our recent guest taught me and Todd so much about our brains. We like to beat ourselves up for the mistakes we make and the behaviors we exhibit, and Doug tell us:
“It’s all biology. It’s not who we are. The system gets triggered and drives emotions, thoughts, and action.”Doug Stoddard
Doug teaches his clients to become aware and then learn to create a new way of thinking and reacting.
A personal story related by Doug Stoddard…
“I was delivering newspapers. Daily I’d encounter a mean dog who didn’t like me. Every day was a race to see who was going to survive.
After months of winning the survival race, one day the dog caught me. He ripped my leg, it got infected, and I had to have a lot of shots. For a 10-year old it was pretty traumatic.
After that, every time I’d see a dog I’d run from it in a panic. Three months later a 10-year old bully knocked me off my bike and started pounding on me. In my 10-year old brain, the bully looked like the dog. I created a pattern of reacting to this kind of stress. If anything got tough I ran from it, quit, or simply didn’t deal with it.”
Doug continued fifty years with anger issues. Because of depression, he felt his dad had left when he was a young boy. Doug never felt he knew how to win in life.
“I was trying to look like a 9 on the outside, when inside I felt like a 2.”Doug Stoddard
We go through life acting on the the programing left in our brain by experiences (dog attacks & abandonment issues) which are triggered in tough times, and from which we form our self-worth and habits – which may not serve us well.
“These experiences are stored in our neural pathways. They are little grooves in our brains. There is a gate in front of each groove, and each gate has a trigger.
When life shows up and something resembles an old story, the gate opens, and chemicals drop into the groove of the pathway. We will feel immediate emotions associated with similar events of the past.”Doug Stoddard
The brain turns the reaction into thoughts. “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I figure this out?”
We get distortion about ourselves and other people. It causes us to focus on the behavior instead of an individual. The individual becomes the behavior in our subconscious mind.
“These emotions and thoughts distort and change our true identity.”Doug Stoddard
You can only stuff so much stuff. It erupts at some point.
The challenge is the neural pathways are under the surface. We don’t know what to do with it and may not be aware of it. Therefore, the first step to taking control of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors is AWARENESS.
Todd & I took an assessment Doug offered, and in which he gives any potential clients. It was eye opening to understand and become aware of our triggers.
The next step then is, UNDERSTANDING THE TRIGGER AND THE STORY BEHIND IT.
“When someone challenges you or your ideas, your brain attaches the negative thought to your self-worth. The brain tries to keep us safe and predictable.”Doug Stoddard
Doug tells us the next step is BREAK IT INTO SMALL PIECES. This is where Doug can help with the process after his assessment provides the answers.
“The biggest problem most people have is they don’t feel like they’re winning. Constantly comparing ourselves to others makes it difficult to celebrate the small steps and reach the big still unmet goal.”Doug Stoddard
Doug assures us the steps are simple, but not easy.
“Everything you want is behind your triggers”Doug Stoddard
Please book a 30-Minute Habit Breaker Discovery Call with Doug Stoddard. Click HERE You may realize your dreams much faster than you ever imagined.
Turn your triggers of emotion into sparks of creativity. Here’s Doug’s website…https://www.dougstoddard.com/