Tuskey the clumsy elephant goes to Paris with his friends. Tuskey knocks over the Eiffel tower and says outloud, “bless me.”

“You just knocked down a great monument, why are you saying bless me?” his friends ask.

Tuskey explains, “the mistake is already done. I can decide to give myself grief or grace. I matter more than my mistake.”

Tuskey knows the next step is to make it right, and his friends help him do so.

This is just a few of the inspiring lessons Brenda Miller taught us on our recent episode of Life Mastery Radio with Todd & Jackie

  1.  When a mistake is made, give others grace not grief
  2. You matter more than your mistake
  3. Make it right

The book about Tuskey will be out in a few weeks and is already in the process of becoming a screen play by Hollywood.

Brenda Miller is the author of many books published and almost published.

Bully Proof Yourself & Your Kids

I can’t imagine not having many parenting books to help in our absolute most important job.”

Brenda Miller

Tuskey’s Travels consists of 15 stories based on the strategies Brenda teaches in The Kid Code | 30 Second Parenting Strategies.

Another book not yet published is Grumpy to Grateful based on research and Brenda’s own experience.

In our discussion Tuesday, Brenda reminded us:

Gratitude increases our immune response. A few minutes of feeling gratitude will dissolve toxic emotions.”

Brenda Miller

4. Gratitude is a doable miracle and almost as good as medication

Brenda provided examples of ways she teaches her grandchildren to feel grateful.

Because I have six grandkids, I have a television on the back of my driver’s seat for them to watch on longer trips.

They enjoy watching movies and would get upset when it was time to turn the movie off when arriving at our destination.

I began to probe the kids before each trip. ‘How do you feel right now about being able to watch the TV?’

The answer from the kids was they felt good about being able to do that.

I would then ask, ‘How do you want to feel when we get there and turn the TV off? Do you want to have gratitude or attitude with a temper tantrum?’

They replied that they wanted to feel good then, too.

I would say, ‘You can’t put a lid on lava. Once it starts it’s going to blow itself up and out.’

That was one strategy my grandkids understood.

In our desire to give our kids everything, we may have created a sense of entitlement. It’s a painful state to be in, but it is reversable.”

Brenda Miller

5. Entitlement is painful and reversable

Feel thankful right now. Feel it. Now feel it all day long.

Brenda teaches an evolution out of stress. We are stressed when we are feeling or behaving outside of our natural, joyous state.

How do we know what our true nature is?

  • Ask yourself, “I feel natural when I’m in the state of……”
  • Ask yourself, “What makes me long-term happy?”
  • I can make me long-term happy.

Stress comes because I’m not aware of my nature and trying to get destressed with something other than what will cause me to be joyfully harmless.

Brenda Miller

6. Every stressful moment is a wakeup call.

7. Addiction has never delivered what it promised.

8. Truth is a natural stress reliever.

There are many ways to discover the truth. First, I notice when I have an upset, such as when my husband doesn’t do something I wanted him to.

Secondly, I consider what I gain when he disappoints me. I need to feel I matter. When my husband doesn’t do what I wanted,  I overreact to prove I matter.”

Brenda Miller

We’ve learned to use anger as a manipulation tool to get what we want.

9. If I’m upset it’s my job to self-regulate back to my true nature. Feeling resentful is not natural.

10. Be what you want your child to be. If you model it, they will follow.

There were so many inspiring gems which can be extracted from Brenda’s interview. She gives ideas about ways to teach your kids how to identify  entitlement in other people in order to observe whether it creates happiness or not.

She gives tips on ways to manage pain through gratitude.

Brenda teaches ways to motivate your children to do something they don’t want to, and to transform them from a state of anger to one of harmless joy.

In one part of our interview, Brenda gives suggestions to parents about how to  prevent getting pulled into your children’s meltdowns and arguments with each other.


Brenda offers programs for parents, kids, and teachers on her site: https://www.thekidcode.ca/

Parents, you are doing an excellent job because you’re trying. You can change yourself and influence your kids to change in a short period of time.”

Brenda Miller

You matter more than your parenting mistakes.

Share Button