From ‘If Only…’ to ‘What if?’ – Get your creative self back

by Todd Alan | Aug 22, 2010

In a world where lists of daily problems can seem never ending , getting in touch with creative ways to approach a solution may feel out of reach. Time schedules that tug on our attentions for results demanded now or sooner than we seem to have time to do them in can push us to edges where we feel cranky and start wishing for life to be different.

How many of us have been asked to produce results given another person’s time frame, letting go of what is important to us?

How many times have we put ourselves last on the list of priorities and by the end of the day seem to have nothing left in us?

It is hard for us to stay in a positive, creative, inspired mode of living when the lists are long, time feels short and demands for our attentions seem to not take weekends off.

I want to offer some ways to move your life from the questioning place of
‘If Only I had, If only I could, If only they would …. the energy sapping If Only’s” to a state of mind of – What if?

“What if I could? What if I had? What if life looked like? and see what happens to your mood, your outlook, and your results.

Now I am not asking you to entertain What if questions like my son comically added, “What if I did not have a little sister?” although that does take the mind down interesting thoughts…. I will save for a later post.

This exercise provides a way of being, thinking and doing that, if practiced, will over time deliver to you to a place of your own inner power and clear decision making.

Let’s begin…

Let’s take a scenario where you are being asked to finish a project in an aggressive timeframe and you do not think the work you will do in that time would be, if you had adequate time, to your liking. Bottom line is your want more time, so you do not sacrifice things on your plate that are important to you.

Do you:

1 – Say YES to the person asking for the result, and know that it will not get done in that time and you will explain it later when the ‘poo’ hits the fan?

2 – Say YES BUT by letting them know you have other things on your plate already getting your attention but you will do your best

3 – Or do you negotiate with the person who is asking for your time, showing the list of your priorities and fitting this one in in a way that honors your intentions first?

Many people I coach move from #1 to #2 and think that is ‘the best solution’, but #2 still has an essence of ‘If Only’ because you walk away thinking, “If only they knew all that is on my plate. If Only I could have more time and ask them for a realistic timeframe to accomplish this task”.

#3 Comes from an energy of ‘What If’ : What if I could show them all that I am committed to given my current time investment and negotiate with them on how to accomplish their task as well.

Now #3 type thinking has a freedom in it that allows creativity from both sides. If there is a feeling of attachment to the outcome, you will be right back at #2.

What do I mean by an attachment to the outcome…
if you fear of losing your job, have fear of not being considered a team player or fear of not being the one chosen to accomplish the task, there is an attachment to the outcome.  Any and all fear imprisons your mind, your creativity and your inspiration. Attachment to any outcome, other than what is in the highest good and service for all involved, leads to feelings of resentment, remorse, and regret.

Have No Fear

Truthful communication, holding yourself as important, honors both you and the other person. This mindset is rich in creativity and connection. Moving into a place where you honor yourself will teach others to honor you as well and show them that you set healthy boundaries.

Approaching communication in a more honest and open manner may take time and practice but it can be done.

Role Play

I do role playing with my clients to help them approach a situation that may have in the past been sticky or not so easy to navigate. This way of working with a situation prior to it unfolds brings confidence and creativity to a situation. Then If Onlys turn easily into What if’s and solutions come easier with honor and respect on both ends.

If you are interested in learning more about What if mentality, write me with your sticky problem and let’s see how to mastermind your ‘What if’ solution.

Explore the boundaries of your prior ways of being by asking yourself serious
What if questions and see what unfolds in your world.

Tina Marie,  Your Evokateur

www.tinamarie.com