“I loved them. They were inspiring and life changing. They increased my confidence, and my skillfulness in relationships. At sixteen I knew that’s what I wanted to do for other people.”Leah Fink
Leah Fink is describing her experience while attending personal development courses as a teenager. She went on to earn a degree in outdoor leadership and became a social worker. Her understanding of mental health expanded, and she worked at a wilderness retreat for troubled youth.
“It was meaningful to watch the youth gain confidence, understand themselves, and rebuild relationships.”Leah Fink
Leah learned mental illness is often treated as a reaction to behavior.
“When your child is doing great, you give them a pat on the head. When they’re not doing great you send them to a counselor. The same thing happens to us as adults. We aren’t taught preventive or coping skills before we need them.”Leah Fink
Leah’s passion and ability includes activities which foster a better understanding of self and others. Building these skills results in happier and more successful lives. She owns All Thrive, where her public speaking and engaging workshops strengthen people, solidify their relationships, and change lives.
“Relationships are essential to our wellbeing – relationships to self, others, and aspects of our lives. It’s hard to recover from a damaged relationship.”Leah Fink
Leah offered her definition of wellbeing:
Perspective. Look at the world as happy and fulfilling rather than the opposite
Mental attitude. What is limiting your mindset? Knowing how to unblock the limitations you put on yourself
Healing. Trauma, large and small builds up in us and healing is necessary
Coping Skills. Boredom, social media, and distraction are often go-to coping skills, but are not a solution.
“Belonging is a core need for everyone. All behavior is a way to fill an emotional need. It helps to understand why the behavior and why the emotion.”Leah Fink
Leah’s mission is to help protect people from the pain of damaged relationships.
“The quality and quantity of relationships affects not only our mental health, but our physical health and longevity. Literally how long you live is impacted by your relationships.”Leah Fink
To help her clients improve relationships, Leah uses a personality typology tool called True Colours. By understanding yourself and others, you will value your relationships more readily, and treat others in a language they understand.
BLUE: emotional type and needs validation through emotion. Cares a lot about relationships. They are sincere when asking about your family. They are looking for deep meaningful conversations. They get stressed when they don’t have that such as covid and not able to hug or see family members.
GREEN: logical and analytical. I “think” and “why?” statements are common. Often looking for information and resources. They get stressed when they don’t have information and must make a quick decision. Give them what they want – answer questions, info and space.
GOLD: these are the organized, planner people. They have their next five years planned and talk about systems and schedules. They’ve been stressed during covid since they haven’t been able to plan. Help them make a structure or offer to help with their plan.
ORANGE: spontaneous and adventurous; the life of the party. When they get stressed they may lash out, and push boundaries because they don’t like rules and limitations. You can help these people by doing something fun in the moment.
Can you recognize yourself, family, and closest friends? It’s helpful to keep in mind how you can help others to destress. They are interacting in the best way they know how.
“Don’t box people in but recognize that you can positively influence your relationships.”Leah Fink
Leah says curiosity is critical for relationships. Ask questions to gain knowledge about people. Communicate where you naturally come from. Knowing what stresses and destresses you will be helpful.
“Recognize that people tend to view their own actions through good intentions but view others’ actions through bad intentions. Always assume a good intention.”Leah Fink
Leah reminds us it’s not always easy to retrain ourselves. We’ve practiced unhealthy relationship skills our whole lives, and the best we can do is set an intention every day to work toward healthy relationships.
Set up a time for a virtual coffee break with Leah, and talk to her about your relationships and mental health: https://calendly.com/leah-fink/virtual-coffee