by admin | Jun 17, 2015
I love motorcycles. I know they’re dangerous, but I love them nonetheless. And I can say Todd earned a few extra points when we were dating, and he said he had a new shiny “bike.” They make the country life a little more exciting! It helps that I was forbidden to come near one until I was college aged. They seem so fun and naughty.
Todd is a very smart driver and a mechanic, so I feel secure on the back. Sometimes when it’s warm out, he will run into town on his motorcycle and add a little power to the common errand. On this particular day, his youngest daughter wanted to go. I remember how I gasped, “It’s too dangerous, Cutie..” I was talking to her, but Todd replied, “Ah, she’ll like it.”
All the hair on the back of my neck stood up, my heart pounded, “Her mother won’t like it, and she’s only 12…and…” Neither of them listened. I had to surrender to the spirit of fun and snap a picture. But She just looked like a little baby with a retainer. I felt so protective.
My first motorcycle ride was dangerous. He was 19 and I ….wasn’t. He was drinking, and I knew he shouldn’t. He was my first. He helped me understand danger. If he had a daughter, I never would have allowed it. Never!
After 15 minutes, Todd and his daughter were back, her smile broad and hair a complete mess. Todd enjoyed the I-told-you-so-moment.
Today, only four years later, she has completed her driver’s test. Heck, I don’t think any of us could stop her from buying a motorcycle if she wants one. She’s legal. It’s out of our hands.
But what do I see? An adorable girl, now an inch taller than me, braces, and car keys dangling in her hands. I see a swimmer’s body in a lettermen’s jacket. I see her smiling ear to ear with her BFF on face time. I see a sweet baby girl putting the keys in the ignition.
by admin | Jun 15, 2015
(Painting by Karen Mathison Schmidt)
(Originally published on Dr. Maisel’s blog)
If it’s become your habit to apologize for your work, to hide from potential buyers, to avoid marketplace interactions, to dismiss yourself as soon as you can (as if beating others to the punch), then these are bad habits that you will want to change.
To change a habit means to work on it for months and even for years, not to work on it for just a few minutes. It is unlikely that, for example, you can change from not taking opportunities offered to you to suddenly taking them just by snapping your fingers. Rather, you need to be on a lifelong strengthening program, a self-coaching regimen where each day you remind yourself that you intend to manifest your strength and your confidence.
Remember: it is one thing to be quiet; it is another thing to be meek. It is one thing to be modest; it is another thing to be self-disparaging. It is one thing to be principled; it is another thing to live by the principle that everybody else comes first. You want to step out of the shadows and risk standing up for your work and for your future. Maybe you doubt your work: either stop doubting it or create work that you doubt less. Maybe you doubt yourself: stop doubting yourself and, over time, create a version of yourself that you have no reason to doubt.
Present yourself with strength. If this doesn’t come naturally to you, practice. Practice in your mind, in the mirror, or with an art buddy. Practice saying, “I love my new work.” Practice saying, “If your gallery has an opening for one new artist, it should be me, and here’s why.” Practice saying, “I know that you collect contemporary surrealists and I’m pushing the surrealism envelope, so you must visit my studio!” Practice saying, “Let me describe the nine ways in which I will be an asset to your gallery.” Practice saying, “I am doing excellent work and you should really take a look.”
It is not just what you say—it is how you look out at the world, how you think, and what you do. You are either looking for opportunities to show or you aren’t. You are either mulling over new marketing ideas or you aren’t. You are either thinking about your next sales opportunities or you aren’t. You are either calculating what might work in the marketplace or you aren’t. You are either a player in the game or a spectator in the stands. You are either fantasizing about what lucky break might come your way or you are taking action.
Remember: take action and present yourself with strength!
by admin | Jun 4, 2015
(Art by Heng Swee Lim)
Ten Steps of Optimism
1). Gratitude. Gratitude for even the smallest things is important along with savoring every moment. It truly prevents us from sweating the small stuff and allows to appreciate the blessings in our lives.
2). Stories. When people are going through tough times, they tend to think that they’re alone. However, when they hear stories of how others have persevered, it gives them hope. And hope is the foundation of optimism.
3). Magnet. “Optimism is a happiness magnet,” -Mary Lou Retton. You want to surround yourself with good, uplifting people. Their happiness and positive attitude is certainly contagious. It brings you up and adds light to your day.
4). Reflection. Look in the mirror and remember that what others do or say is a reflection of their own self, not a reflection of you.
5). Altruism. No matter what is taking place in your life currently, helping others is tantamount to your own happiness and to the happiness of others.
6) Embrace Change. If you accept change and embrace what life offers, it is more likely that you will be successful when you come across the peaks and valleys that we all encounter.
7) Believe in Yourself and the Value You Possess. Every one of us has value, unique value. And no one person is more or less valuable than another person.
8) Service the Engine. Healing not only comes from medical and spiritual professionals, but it also comes from within.
9) Reclaim Your Personal Power. No matter what life holds, you are not alone. There are people who have been through it and together you can surmount the obstacles.
10) Stay Inspired. Inspiration is fuel for the heart, fuel for the mind, and fuel for positive living.
In closing, picking up optimism and passing it on is something that the world can never get enough of. Whether we are experiencing peace or war, recession or prosperity, sunshine or clouds, etc. there can never be enough hugs, enough smiles, enough elation, or enough love to keep us all going. The cost is zero but the rewards are priceless. The key is for us to share our experiences with others because everything we do in life (successes and failures) serves as the basis of our wisdom. And sharing wisdom is a major way to facilitate contagious optimism. It’s the key to evolution and the constant improvement of mankind.
by admin | May 28, 2015
We have been born under a mistaken identity.
And almost everything that we see, hear, and experience – almost everything produced by society – keeps us in the dark about who and what we truly are.
The mistaken identity is that we are merely human beings, having an occasional spiritual experience; that we are born in sin, worms of the dust; that we are circumscribed by our personality, a product of our culture and family, conceived on a certain date, destined to die.
But that’s a lie.
And when we peel away the dogma and doctrine of all great spiritual teachings, we discover that they have been trying to wake us up from this illusion or Maya all along.
“Sin,” as it turns out, is not some demonic quality of our soul; it is an archery term that means “to miss the mark.” The only “or iginal sin” we were born under is this false belief about who we are.
The fact that this human self we perceive isn’t who we really are doesn’t mean it’s bad or that we should disregard it (as some extreme religious practices have concluded). This human incarnation is a magnificent thing, with the potential to reveal beauty, power, and greatness beyond our imagination.
But it’s a pale reflection of the truth.
Every level of our experience – mental, emotional, physical – is a relative expression of an Infinite Perfection, an Eternal Self, forever unfolding in this timeless moment.
Our human self is like a great character in this “divine drama” that we are acting out for the evolution of our soul; a work of art we are painting on the canvas of our consciousness.
We’re the Actor, not the character; the Painter, not the painting.
Your true Self is “made in the image and likeness of God:” eternal, changeless, and infinite; whereas your human self is made in the image and likeness of your history, culture, and the transitory world of changes that arise out of the Self and dissolve back into it, over and over, like a wave upon the ocean.
Everything you need for your total fulfillment is already within you, constituted as a part of this essential Self.
And when you are more identified with THAT, all your needs will emerge without the effort and struggle so common to the human experience.
We spin our wheels trying to come up with solutions to all our social, political, personal and professional problems, creating new policies, more restrictive laws, bigger prisons, and more powerful weapons to “attack the issues” …or just twisting ourselves into pretzels trying to solve things.
But no matter what new invention, theory, or practice we engage in, if it doesn’t emerge out of some degree of true Self-realization, out of an awareness of our innate wholeness, it will never create lasting peace, abundance, or fulfillment in our lives or on the planet.
It can’t.
Because we don’t get what we want, or even what we fight for and claim – we get who we are in consciousness. Nothing more, nothing less.
It’s not personal, it’s Principle.
How would you act if you knew you already had everything you need within you, that you were already whole, perfect, and complete?
Ask that question throughout the day, before you enter into a meeting or interaction with someone, before you begin that project…and honor the guidance that arises.
Practice this for the next 7 days and notice what shifts…then share it with me and this community on the Facebook page.
To Your Emergence!
by admin | May 23, 2015
At every point in time,
there are infinite possibilities
and a parallel reality exists for each possibility.”
–Daniel Jackson, Stargate
Imagine this?
A foreign exchange student from a tiny African village with no running water or electricity comes to the West and gets dropped off at a hotel room. The hotel maid, who has a giant crush on George Strait and loves to listen to the local country and western station, forgot to turn off the radio when she finished tidying up the room.
Hours later, the student walks into his first hotel room ever to find a radio playing non-stop country and western music and loud, obnoxious ads.
He much prefers the drumming of his little village, but unfortunately he has no idea that a) the radio has an off switch or b) that, at any time, he could simply move the dial to a different, more pleasing station.
Hopefully, the above scenario has never happened, but it’s a perfect metaphor for life. An extensive line-up of music stations with an immense variety of options is available for anyone with a car, a boom box or a computer with Pandora.
Life, too, offers a dizzying choice of consciousness options. We can choose joyful thoughts or thoughts of fear. We can choose to celebrate or worry. The station we tune into is completely up to us. It’s the most important decision we ever make. Our consciousness channels create the quality of our life.
Most of us are like the exchange student, stuck on one channel and unaware that, at any time, we could pick a different reality. We are the captains of our fate, the master of our mind’s channels that all too often get stuck on an endless loop.
Before long, we start believing that reality is nothing but the loud, obnoxious C&W station playing in our consciousness. We fail to realize that a) there’s an off-switch, b) there are lots of other channels and c) the world only appears the way it does because, in our ignorance, we chose the wrong channel. Isn’t it time to change the dial?
by admin | May 14, 2015
Sex desire is the most powerful of human desires.
When driven by this desire, men develop keenness of imagination, courage, will-power, persistence, and creative ability unknown to them at other times. So strong and impelling is the desire for sexual contact that men freely run the risk of life and reputation to indulge it.
When harnessed, and redirected along other lines, this motivating force maintains all of its attributes of keenness of imagination, courage, etc., which may be used as powerful creative forces in literature, art, or in any other profession or calling, including, of course, the accumulation of riches.
The transmutation of sex energy calls for the exercise of will-power, to be sure, but the reward is worth the effort.
The desire for sexual expression is inborn and natural. The desire cannot, and should not be submerged or eliminated. But it should be given an outlet through forms of expression which enrich the body, mind, and spirit of man.
If not given this form of outlet, through transmutation, it will seek outlets through purely physical channels…
…Fortunate, indeed, is the person who has discovered how to give sex emotion an outlet through some form of creative effort, for he has, by that discovery, lifted himself to the status of a genius.
Scientific research has disclosed these significant facts:
1. The men of greatest achievement are men with highly developed sex natures; men who have learned the art of sex transmutation.
2. The men who have accumulated great fortunes and achieved outstanding recognition in literature, art, industry, architecture, and the professions, were motivated by the influence of a woman.
…The emotion of sex contains the secret of creative ability.
Destroy the sex glands, whether in man or beast, and you have removed the major source of action. For proof of this, observe what happens to any animal after it has been castrated. A bull becomes as docile as a cow after it has been altered sexually. Sex alteration takes out of the male, whether man or beast, all the FIGHT that was in him.
Sex alteration of the female has the same effect.
by admin | May 6, 2015
My dad is an avid hiker, a true outdoorsman, and a rugged athlete. I am not. I am creative. “Artistic,” you might say. But definitely not an athlete, and there is nothing rugged about me, not even my attitude. So, as a kid, I learned to get my bum out of bed early and trek through the woods with him or else I’d have a long Sunday at home, all alone. While the idea of coloring seemed much more fun, I was not a good sales girl, so off we’d go to the mountains.
Thankfully, over the years we have both developed a love for the theater, especially circus arts, musicals, and plays. He is retired now and has the good sense to indulge in such pleasant modes of entertainment on a regular basis. He also has Debra, his Love who accompanies him, but from time to time she can’t make it. And these are the magical evenings when dad takes me on a date.
Typically, the call comes out of the blue. This was the case recently as I was in the middle of a busy day contacting radio guests and publicists. I answered the phone and heard my dad’s voice, “Oh, Debby-Do, How are you?” (Such nicknames made me cringe as a kid, and now I beam!) He continued, “I’ve got two tickets for a great show. Would you like to….?” I didn’t let him finish. “Yes! I’m free! I’m not doing anything.”
I was elated. A date with dad! And he is no Scrooge when it comes to a fancy dessert to top off the night.
Of course, the best part is that I get him all to myself–I get to feel special–but finally we have a way to meet up without a full day of blazing sun, hoofing over boulders, and keeping an eye out for Bigfoot. Instead, I get to dress up, gawk at the artists, share a fudge sundae with my dad, and eat the cherry on top.
by admin | Apr 22, 2015
“All right is almost always where we eventually land, even if we fuck up entirely along the way.”–Cheryl Strayed
I decided to headline today’s blog post with those words of wisdom, not because it’s exactly the topic I’ll be discussing, but because those two intentions match mine.
My topic today is Gabrielle Bernstein’s e-Course “God is my publicist.” Hay House gifted me with this three-week lecture partly, because they’re really cool folks, but mostly because they figured it would help promote my books. I was lucky enough to meet Gabby last year in London and she was recklessly generous enough to write the forward to E-Cubed.
Unlike some publicity campaigns that require big budgets, weekly strategy sessions and countless pleas to the media powers-that-be, Gabby’s course suggests appointing God to handle the details.
That doesn’t mean sitting around polishing your nails and refusing to pick up the phone when say, Oprah calls. It means making a rigorous practice of connecting with the big guy and asking that your message reach the folks who need it. As she points out, the possibilities to connect and make an impact are endless.
Endless possibilities, as far as I’m concerned, is a synonym for God, even though many of us hooked that word up long ago with the exact opposite.
God, to use the synonym I refer to in my book, is the FP (or the Field of Infinite Potentiality). I devoted my life to the FP many years ago. I appointed it the CEO of my career and, so far, it hasn’t let me down. It’s enabled me to write 17 books and create a life without “a real job” for more than 20 years. It’s enabled me to make a living on my wit and my craft.
I believe the only thing keeping anyone apart from the FP is their own walls and judgments.
Judgment, I was relieved to find out, is not my function. Surrender to the FP is really my only job. The less I try to do on my own, the better my life becomes.
Gabby’s other potent publicity strategy is sending love to potential customers….in my case, readers.
She reminds us that all of us have a mission and, no matter what we think it might be, it always involves love. Expansion. Beauty. Joy. So, dear readers, whoever you might be, I send you heartfelt appreciation and, yes, love which is the only thing that’s real.
by admin | Apr 17, 2015
Instead of a regular blog post, we’ve included writing prompts pilfered from Midge Raymond’s blog. Do something different and try these out. If you like them, good news! She posts a new one every week.
When was the last time you did something artistic other than writing? Whether it was baking a cake or painting a portrait, write about your last artistic endeavor.
2. Write for one minute about each of the following: lemon, chalk, waterfall, fork, silver.
3. Describe the most unusual part of you. Start with the physical and then move on to the psychological/emotional.
4. Describe your worst roommate. This could be a sibling, a roommate from school, a bunkmate from camp, your spouse.
Look out the window of the room you spend the most time in. Describe what you see. Next, write about a view you miss.
5. The other day my husband said to me, “Your extra memory should be here next week.”
It took me a long moment to realize he was talking about the additional memory he’d ordered for my computer, which had been very slow; apparently you can just buy more memory if you run low. (For your computer, that is.)
But I did, for a moment, love the idea of having extra memory, or more space for memories, in my brain rather than just on my computer.
Write about a time you wish you could remember, or remember more vividly.
by admin | Apr 12, 2015
A dream is a goal with a date on it and action steps for achieving it.
It’s April. If you’re like the majority of people, your New Year’s goals are long since forgotten.
If there were one goal that you’d resurrect for the Spring, which would you choose?
Many goals are lost in the sea of other priorities simply because they require too much effort to attain. In order for a goal to become attainable, the lifestyle and habits around it must be evaluated.
Your life is cookbook
A great motivation speaker, Omar Rivas, taught me the following:
Your daily activities are the ingredients in each recipe. And all of your habits combined create your personal cookbook.
Your daily activities –>your habits –> your outcomes –> your life
Your recipes (habits) make up the cookbook of your life. Are the ingredients (your daily actions) nourishing?
Are your recipes and ingredients worthy of passing on to your family members, so they can keep your recipes forever? Would they pass on health, vitality, love, happiness and success?
It’s important to evaluate the recipes of your life regularly. As you evaluate them, you then have the ability to tweak them.
Borrowing from Omar Rivas again,
Take personal inventory of your time, how you spend it, and how much of it you spend.
Jot down every single activity of yours: Sleeping, eating, cooking, shopping, cleaning, personal hygiene, socializing, commuting, reading, writing, watching TV . . . even having sex (okay, that’s often spontaneous).
Just as you would with your finances – take stock of how you are spending, and you adjust according to your financial goals and your budget.
Make it easy: I use a digital calendar to track all of my activity: email, social media, commuting, reading, writing, goofing off, exercising, etc. I forecast my schedule as far into the future as I can. I forecast every week in advance. Then, I adjust my calendar throughout my day/week so that I can honestly keep track of my time. For example, I may have “write blog post” in my calendar, but I actually decided to clean my office instead – a procrastination move. So I hold myself accountable by changing what happened in my calendar.
Evaluate the patterns you see.
Expect to discover behaviors that are inhibiting your progress. This is the point of the exercise.
No need to judge yourself for not being perfect.
Do you complain there is no time to cook or exercise, but find you’re spending 2 hours watching TV each day? That’s helpful for you to recognize, especially if your goal is to improve your health or fitness (which I think it is if you’re reading my blog). =-)
With self-compassion, call it like you see it.
After evaluating patterns, ask if your behavior is moving you closer to your goal. Decide which behavior to work on first.
Most of us need support and accountability in improving our behavior. For example, I work out with a trainer because it ensures I’ll actually workout. Without him, I just putz around.
Big goals, like quitting smoking or losing 100 pounds, need to be broken down into smaller, simpler steps. For help with making SMARTER goals, see my post here.
Your attitude and subconscious beliefs
Sometimes, we don’t really believe that we can achieve what we say we want. Or, we say we want something, but we aren’t willing to make the sacrifices it takes to achieve it.
To better understand how your subconscious may be limiting you, check in with these two interviews about how the subconscious mind works.
Releasing Subconscious Barriers, a podcast with Tina Huang, PhD in neuroscience
Stop Spinning Your Wheels: How to Get What You Want, a podcast with Bea Soyla (professional hypnotherapist)
Here are resources from my library to support you in your journey:
- The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg. (I have it on audio and in hard-copy. Great book!)
- Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives by Gretchen Rubin (from the author of the Happiness Project)
As Mr. Rivas famously says, A dream is a goal with a date on it. It’s only a wish if you haven’t set a date and broken down your action steps to achieve it.
Don’t let the learning stop here. Take action in one small way today. In the comments below, tell me what will be your next action step.
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