by admin | Jul 17, 2015
Two blog posts ago, I had a metaphor going comparing a computer crash to “bottoming out” in life and upgrading our operating system to a new way of being.
But first, we had to become willing to have a new operating system.
We put pop-up blockers in place to divert negative thoughts, and we became mindful of where we navigate online by asking ourselves – Does this serve me? Does this fit my core values?
So let’s now delve into the use of our new browser:
We use our browser to manifest or find what we’re looking for (of course with the help of our pop-up blockers and navigation skills). When we get clear on what we want, envisioning it and identifying it with our browser, we create and co-create a life that we love.
A life that ultimately serves and help others.
And we do that in conjunction with our last, but certainly our most important new feature: The Help system.
We cannot create a life that we love alone, not without guidance and help.
We most certainly try, but our circumstances become far more manageable when we ask for help from our Higher Power, be that God, a spiritual community, your Highest Self or Mt. Rainier. This feature we can use whenever, wherever, and for whatever occasion.
The Help feature assists on all levels of the new operating system:
Identifying “stinkin’ thinkin’” – we can ask for help.
Staying aligned with our values – we can ask for help.
How to make the best use of our new browser – we can ask for help.
It’s a simple metaphor, I know, but that’s its purpose. To simplify something that seems complex, so we can use it as a tool.
Congrats on your new operating system. And if you feel like yours has become overburdened, reboot.
You have everything you need to acquire and use a new operating system in order to master your life.
by admin | Jul 17, 2015
July 21, 2015 –
Dad is gone. Checked out physically or perhaps emotionally – now what?
Mom is left to raise her boy into an extraordinary man. The problem is, she has one too many roles to play. Jeff Pennypacker gets that, and he wants to help.
Jeff’s book, Broken Boys – Extraordinary Men, is a tool for moms. A what to do and a what NOT to do.
In it, he grants mothers the permission to allow their sons to seek mentorship from other men and empowers both mother and son on how to find them.
His practical guidance also aims to help boys:
- Know the dad within themselves
- Believe in themselves
- Experience adventure
- Stay challenged
- Have a spiritual life
While acknowledging that the circumstances suck and aren’t fair, Jeff does hold the one available adult in the house responsible.
It’s up to mom to keep negative feelings about dad away from vulnerable children, who need to know their father’s good qualities.
Formal Bio:
Professionally, I graduated from Johnson & Wales University and served as a Chef on the Biltmore Estate for seven years. During that time I started two businesses; Forever Built Furniture, a hand made furniture company and Masterpiece Ice Sculptures. Masterpiece Ice took off and became one of the top ice sculpting businesses in the country. I owned and operated Masterpiece Ice for 10 years. After selling Masterpiece Ice, I trained with the John Maxwell Team to hone my leadership and speaking abilities. Soon afterwards I launched 360 Business which is dedicated to coaching small business owners.
Personally, my parents were divorced when I was six years old. This left me to be raised by a hard-working single mom. Growing up I was the odd kid out and didn’t bond deeply with many other people. I always felt like the underdog who wasn’t the smartest in school or the best at any sport. No one seemed to look at me and say, “he’ll be somebody.” My dad and I were not close so I didn’t have his leadership pouring into my life either. I had the odds of life stacked against me.
Then because of the mentors in my life, I was able to experience success. I went from the boy who “wouldn’t amount to much” to experiencing the level of success every parent wishes for their children. I was about 11 years old when my first mentor, Fred Patrick, began pouring into my life. It is because of his initial influence that I was then able to achieve confidence in life.
God has since asked me to be “Fred Patrick” in the life of others. I have always had a passion for mentoring others and seeing the seed of success grow in their lives. Cooking was a great place to teach leadership 100 times an hour. As the owner of Masterpiece Ice, I used it as a platform for teaching leadership and reshaping adult boys into adult men.
In 2004 a major life transformation happened. I got to know Jesus Christ. I am now guided by Him. Since this time I have decided to focus the gifts He has given me on helping others. I now coach business owners, mentor moms and their sons, and write articles about leadership and mentoring.
I have been married to the most amazing woman, Heather, for 6 years. She loves many things like caramel, popcorn, Starburst jellybeans and me. I am a blessed man. We had our first child, Julianna, in 2014. My wife and I both are licensed foster parents and have had the blessing of 8 foster children come through our home.
Listen to “Mentoring with Jeff Pennypacker 7/21/15” on Spreaker.
by admin | Jul 9, 2015
by Coach Debby
While working with a young writer, I was reminded of a time in my 20’s when I realized I would never be perfect.
It was a heart-wrenching experience filled with shame. It was like being stranded on a desert island with no food or friends. I mean it when I say it left me feeling totally cut off from everything and everyone.
Perhaps I took my evolution too seriously?
Most likely. I was an excellent college student at the time. I was earning my income as a waitress and giving a few bucks to the Humane Society each month to keep me from going to hell.
Certainly I would wake up perfect one day. Right? I was busting my tail everyday!
Nope. It didn’t go that way. I never “arrived.” And this helped me empathize with my young student after I pierced her soul with my comment, “We give it our best, but we hurt ourselves when we expect complete perfection.”
She came out of the corner swinging. “I didn’t just give it my best (add sounds of hysteria to get the full affect, here) I wrote an A+ paper! Everyone loved my paper!”
Truly, she could have received an Oscar for her dramatic performance in my office. That still did not make her perfect.
She was a good writer. She received a good grade. But what she wanted was a perfect score; she needed it to confirm she was a good person.
I could see in her eyes that her personal worth was totally on the line.
Isn’t it funny how we twist our performance and our worth into crazy little knots of extreme unhappiness?
One of the best reads to help me with this issue is by John Welwood, Toward a Psychology of Awakening. He explained how our bodies, “store experiences” until we reach maturity and can process our raw memories. We will never perfect our way of being, but in time, we come to terms with who we are.
According to Welwood, we give up our “old identity” and belief of being worthless sometimes decades after a crucial event takes place.
That was the case for me. I had to tell my stories to a safe individual and get clear about my past in order to understand that life unfolds.
There is no rehearsal and rarely do things turn out perfectly.
Perhaps the big key is realizing that we want to be SEEN in the best light possible because it covers up something icky from the past.
Truth be told, we are all quite lovely.
We deserve to feel good. But it can’t happen when we are playing for a perfect score. If we need our accomplishments to replace our feelings of lack about ourselves, it is a definite pointer to our past where a difficult memory resides.
I am reminded every day that I will never get it all right. I’m not perfect. But just like everyone else with an imperfect past, I am worthy.
“Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert
by admin | Jul 9, 2015
Tim Link’s Website
July 14, 2015:
Take the time to build a bond with your animal and trust you’re receiving the info you need from them.
That’s a nugget of wisdom worth applying to all our important relationships, no?
Some other nuggets from our interview with Tim Link:
- If we’re always in a bad space – stress, negativity, anger – our pets will pick up on our energy and suffer as much as we do.
- Don’t get freaked out by the idea of animal telepathy – it’s all about slowing down and tuning in.
- One main difference between animals and humans is animals know their purpose.
And we aren’t just referring to dogs and cats – you can apply everything you learn from Tim Link to all your animals – we’re talking chickens and goldfish.His book is not only an animal communication how-to but a great reference manual for your bookshelf when dealing with a specific issue.
Formal Bio:
I learned that I could communicate telepathically with animals in February 2004. Until then, I had no idea that I had this ability.
The journey to this discovery began when my wife asked me to attend an Animal Communication workshop with her in the Atlanta area as her birthday present. It was an all-day workshop taught by a long-time practitioner of animal communication and included about seven other participants.
A lot of material was covered in the eight-hour session including meditation, self-hypnosis and practicing receiving information rather than just sending information. We also practiced a lot of the various techniques that we learned during the workshop.
During the workshop, I began to notice that I was receiving accurate information from the animals we communicated with. Of course my first reaction was, am I really ‘hearing’ what the animal is saying or, is this something else? When the information that I received from the animals was confirmed by participants of the workshop, my confidence grew.
Over the next several months, I used my ability to communicate with my own pets and the pets of friends and family. As my gift continued to grow, I began helping others within my church with their pets, as well as animals at the local animal shelters that I work with.
My gift is much stronger and flows more easily than in the beginning. It brings a lot of joy to me to be able to bridge the communication gap between pets and their human companions. I cannot tell you the number of people that have told me how much more they understand about their pets from the sessions we have had. Being able to give the animals a voice is truly a blessing.
Listen to “Animal Communication with Tim Link 7/14/15” on Spreaker.
by admin | Jul 2, 2015
by Todd Alan
It’s happened to me more than once – a systems crash on my computer where I’ve lost everything. And every time it’s happened, I discover that nothing I lost is ever really missed. Even though there were things I would rather have kept, nothing was totally necessary to move forward with my life.
Which got me thinking…
A computer crash is a fantastic metaphor for bottoming out in life. How desperately we cling to our vices, our “humorous” sarcasm (code for depression), our unhealthy relationships and self-deprecation only to find out, once we ditch it, that there was nothing to miss there at all.
Overwhelmed in our circumstances, overburdened with responsibilities, intoxicated with our substances and our stories, we do eventually crash…and most of us crash hard.
Any attempts to return to our old ways or use our old system is futile. At some point, we hopefully realize it’s not going to work for us anymore. It’s a completely broken system.
So what do we DO when our system crashes? We upgrade to a new operating system or a new way of existence. With a new operating system, we get a fresh start – new desktop, new files, new browser.
Our goal then is not to bog it down with the pop-ups and viruses and extraneous crap that destroyed the last one.
We need pop-up blockers to stop negative thoughts. We need smarter navigation to steer clear of viruses. When we encounter old, negative thoughts, we replace them with positive ones. When our navigation starts to veer off course, we ask ourselves – Does this serve me? Does this fit my core values?
It’s true we can’t just go buy a new addiction-free, character defect-free, neurosis free, negativity free “operating system.”
But we can become willing to give the old one up.
We get a chance to reboot. And once we become willing and decide that we want to reboot, we really do have a new operating system full of pure potential.
by admin | Jul 2, 2015
Even when you feel alone, there’s another realm that’s full of love, support, and guidance.
Don’t believe us?
Stephanie Banks will change your mind.
So you may have heard that hers is a story about an out of body experience after a terrible mountain bike crash.
But it’s more about an awakening.
More mindfulness, sure. More appreciation and gratitude, of course.
But also, there’s this:
When Banks was recovering, she sat down to write (she couldn’t do much else), and the first piece written was a letter to herself…from her deceased mother.
In her mother’s handwriting…
Born into a family of intuitives, Banks tapped back into her roots and received profound messages from outside guides about life, death, ego, where we’re headed as a society.
Her book is a compilation of insights from forces we can’t see and the wisdom gained from tapping into God, our “true narrative,” and our real potential.
Formal Bio:
July 7th, 2015 – Stephanie Banks was born into a family of intuitives who encouraged fostering faith in accepting guidance from within as well as from other realms that surround our own. Prior to her near-death experience, she led a life directed by modern day terms that lacked depth and clarity. Immediately following her encounter with death, her life transformed to that of an awakened soul. She has now dedicated her life to mastering ancient wisdom and writing candidly about all she learns through this process. Her unfailing connection to the non-physical realm has offered guidance and transformation to all those who seek profound insight into our existence.
Stephanie attended the University of Western Ontario, and is currently enrolled in the master class of spiritual enlightenment. She lives with her family in British Columbia.
Listen to “A Soulful Awakening with Stephanie Banks 7/7/15” on Spreaker.
by admin | Jun 25, 2015
by Kavita Patel
Today I want to tell you a story about my client Kelsey.
Kelsey is a powerful woman who works to raise millions of dollars for nonprofits. If you were to meet her on the street she would have the kind of outfit you would love to have put together. When she speaks she is eloquent and you immediately know how smart she is.
Overall, she definitely has her life together.
Kelsey was introduced to a guy through a friend, and they are long distance (she lives in NYC and he lives in Austin). When she was visiting Texas a couple of months ago to see her mom, they decided to meet and have dinner. They had a great time and he asked when she would be back. She said probably in May.
So, this past month when she went back, Kelsey was even more excited to go on a second date with Ben. She wanted to get to know him better by asking questions and revealing more of who she was. More than anything, she just wanted to feel comfortable being herself.
As soon as we got on the phone for our last session, she launched into how embarrassed she was and that there were multiple times on the date she felt really stupid.
At the beginning of the date he asked her to put a collar straightener into the collar of his shirt and she didn’t know how to do it.
During dinner they were talking about social media and Ben said he doesn’t really like being on Facebook because it can be distracting. Kelsey responded with, “Yeah me neither” meanwhile she had been “stalking” him on Facebook for several months since their last date.
At the end of the date when she wanted to say something flirty what came out was, “Thanks for the intellectual stimulation.”
That last one was where I started laughing. Knowing who she was, it was hilarious what came out of her mouth out of nervousness at the end of the date!
Kelsey said to me, “I know it is funny! But I felt so stupid. What do I do now? I feel like I totally embarrassed myself . I just wanted to be myself and this is how I reacted.”
I said to Kelsey immediately, “You didn’t do ANYTHING to screw this up. I actually think the fact that you felt stupid several times during the date was REALLY good. Often you can look so put together that men feel like ‘Why would this woman need me?. She’s perfect. She’s got it together.’ The fact that you were flustered and embarrassed at times was so good.”
Being willing to look stupid shows your humanness and realness. It softens you.
I explained to Kelsey that the more she can feel stupid in life the better, because it is an indication of her getting outside of her comfort zone. It is a way for her to let go of control (which I know we all love) and let her guard down and let someone see who she really is, which is a smart, loving, flawed human being.
On this date, Kelsey actually revealed parts of herself in a more spontaneous way than she ever had.
Have you ever watched a speech that someone gives, whether it be at a wedding or something formal?
The speeches that touch your heart and move you are the ones that show someone’s humanness, imperfections, goofyness, and honesty.
In those moments they are risking looking stupid (not looking perfect) and that is what moves people.
It is the same on dates. The more you let yourself make mistakes and look stupid, the better. When you are with the right man he will see that as the most endearing quality you have.
by admin | Jun 25, 2015
June 30th, 2015
“There is self-abandonment at the root of self-sabotage.”
We covered a lot of ground in our interview with psychotherapist and abandonment expert, Susan Anderson, whose latest book addresses the “Outer Child.” Or rather, the behavioral part of a person.
And that Outer Child…boy, can she be a twerp.
Procrastination, avoidance, over-eating, over-spending, oversleeping – sound familiar?
That’s Outer Child. She’s the addict form of the personality that reacts or over reacts.
She/he can’t express anger and can’t deal with shame.
Which, causes BIG problems.
If you are human, you’re going to get a ton from this episode. While Anderson doesn’t offer a quick fix, she does offer progress, should you choose to accept the challenge of addressing your most sabotaging behaviors.
Formal Bio:
Susan Anderson is a psychotherapist who has devoted over 30 years of clinical experience and research to working with the victims of abandonment trauma, grief, and loss. Author of Taming your Outer Child: Overcoming your Self Defeating Patterns; Journey from Abandonment to Healing; Black Swan: Twelve Lessons of Abandonment Recovery; and Journey from Heartbreak to Connection, she is founder of the Abandonment Recovery movement, a worldwide program of techniques and support groups that help people heal their abandonment wounds past and present, overcome their self-defeating “Outer Child” patterns, and find greater life and love.
Her books are translated into German, Japanese, French, Spanish, Korean, and sold internationally. Her websites www.outerchild.net and www.abandonment.net reach out to both abandonment survivors and clinicians throughout the world to promote group and individual support.
Through extensive clinical research, group work, and scientific study, she has developed a treatment protocol specific to overcoming the impact of abandonment trauma in adults and children. Her five universal stages of abandonment recovery (Shattering, Withdrawal, Internalizing, Rage, and Lifting) are based upon scientific findings related to the psychobiology of separation and attachment. Through her books and public appearances, she shares her own experiences with abandonment, grief, and recovery, speaking passionately from personal and professional experience.
Listen to “Taming Your Outer Child with Susan Anderson 6/30/15” on Spreaker.
by admin | Jun 17, 2015
I love motorcycles. I know they’re dangerous, but I love them nonetheless. And I can say Todd earned a few extra points when we were dating, and he said he had a new shiny “bike.” They make the country life a little more exciting! It helps that I was forbidden to come near one until I was college aged. They seem so fun and naughty.
Todd is a very smart driver and a mechanic, so I feel secure on the back. Sometimes when it’s warm out, he will run into town on his motorcycle and add a little power to the common errand. On this particular day, his youngest daughter wanted to go. I remember how I gasped, “It’s too dangerous, Cutie..” I was talking to her, but Todd replied, “Ah, she’ll like it.”
All the hair on the back of my neck stood up, my heart pounded, “Her mother won’t like it, and she’s only 12…and…” Neither of them listened. I had to surrender to the spirit of fun and snap a picture. But She just looked like a little baby with a retainer. I felt so protective.
My first motorcycle ride was dangerous. He was 19 and I ….wasn’t. He was drinking, and I knew he shouldn’t. He was my first. He helped me understand danger. If he had a daughter, I never would have allowed it. Never!
After 15 minutes, Todd and his daughter were back, her smile broad and hair a complete mess. Todd enjoyed the I-told-you-so-moment.
Today, only four years later, she has completed her driver’s test. Heck, I don’t think any of us could stop her from buying a motorcycle if she wants one. She’s legal. It’s out of our hands.
But what do I see? An adorable girl, now an inch taller than me, braces, and car keys dangling in her hands. I see a swimmer’s body in a lettermen’s jacket. I see her smiling ear to ear with her BFF on face time. I see a sweet baby girl putting the keys in the ignition.
by admin | Jun 17, 2015
June 23, 2015:
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi
Grab a notebook for this one. Our interview with Kavita Patel took many turns:
- Women can sometimes gather masculine energy when they’re a little afraid to feel vulnerable.
- You keep finding the same type of person because they’re what’s comfortable for you.
- We decide very young that our parents don’t know what they’re doing and begin resisting love.
And Most of our relationship “stuff” is residual crud from our first relationships with our parents.
If we’re open to it and willing to believe that we actually get some say on who comes our way, we can change the “stuff.”
Because according to Kavita, it’s not our city, our age, or any other factors we point to…
It’s us, of course. But how do we fix it? Listen to find out.
Formal Bio:
Kavita J Patel has been a Love Coach since she was 13 years old, when she began coaching her parents through their turbulent marriage.
Now in her 30s, it wasn’t until her relationship with her husband, Hemal, began to unravel early in their marriage that she really refined her skills as a Relationship Expert — developing a Process that single-handedly shifted her deeply unhappy marriage into an Outrageously Happy Relationship.
As a Love coach and some have called her a Love Intuitive, Kavita has worked one on one with over 250 women to reclaim their love lives, including executives at Google, Amazon, Microsoft, and more.
She helps women make deceivingly small shifts, through her no bull shit style, diving deep beneath the surface of the superficial dating games and “rules”.
Kavita knows how to change deep-rooted patterns that have sabotaged love in the past and helps her clients blast through their love barriers to give and receive love — by way of her pioneering techniques to transform their relationships with and beliefs around their parents.
Here is a link to Kavita’s website: http://kavitajpatel.com/
Here is a link to Kavita’s love type quiz: http://kavitajpatel.com/lovetype/
Listen to “Blasting Through Barriers with Kavita Patel 6/23/15” on Spreaker.
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