Personal Inventory

One of the most powerful processes I keep experiencing is self exploration or “taking a personal inventory.” To do that, I ask myself: Why is it that I react to things the way that I do? What are some of the deeply engrained beliefs that cause me to react? What is the real truth about myself? Conducting a personal inventory is when I sift through the attitudes, thoughts, beliefs, fears, actions, behaviors, and the behavior patterns that block me, causing me problems or failure.

The personal inventory process can be found in many places. It is described in the “Sermon on the Mount” and the Book of James. It is a process that is the corner stone of 12-step programs and is described in the literature, such as the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. The “Big Book” describes the results of this process as “being rocketed into the fourth dimension.” What can I say? It was written in the 1930’s. Even still, millions of people from all walks of life have come to a new understanding and have awakened to a new way of life as a result of taking a personal inventory and examining their findings.

Here is an excerpt the “Big Book” uses: “A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke. Taking a commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade. One object is to disclose damaged or unsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and without regret. If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values. We did exactly the same thing with our lives. We took stock honestly. First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up which caused our failure. Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations.”

Being a small business owner myself, I relate to the idea that our lives are just like a business we need to manage. We have this inherent ability to rationalize our behavior, yet the only experience most of us have in taking personal inventory is taking the inventory of others. We must learn to conduct an inventory of Self.

Here’s another way to look at it: We go through life wearing a backpack. As we live, we fill this backpack with stuff better referred to as baggage. Eventually this backpack gets full and very heavy. We pack this stuff around without even realizing it, yet it has a huge impact on the way we show up in the world. Taking a personal inventory is like taking the backpack off, emptying it out on the floor and exploring all of the things that make up our lives. We take a good look at them: do they still serve us? Is this who I want to be? What we end up with is a lighter backpack. It’s like getting a runner’s second wind as we continue on with a new life, a new direction, with new energy.

When I experienced the benefit of this process, I was awakened to a whole new world. The person that I was meant to be came alive. The egotistical, self-centered, pompous ass was put to rest. I found myself with a respect for other humans and a respect toward myself. My past experiences were no longer a part of my new story; it was like I was rocketed into a new dimension.

The best way to get started is to write. Write your story from your earliest memory. Focus your attention on the ways you reacted to events that occurred in your life. There are 4 areas you want to pay particular attention: resentments, fears, harms to others, and sexual conduct. There really are no right or wrong answers. The point is to get honest with yourself and get to know what makes you tick!

Namaste my friends, and pass it on. You won’t get to keep it unless you give it away.

Todd Alan