Pesky Indulgences, or is it Something More?

by | Feb 2, 2015 | Blog

TS259_Addiction_blogGuest Post by Coach Debby:
Outgrowing any sort of habit, whether it be shopping too much, eating too much, or even sleeping too much involves growing our emotional “muscles;” it’s a new mindset. This journey of outgrowing isn’t about white-knuckling your way through the day because you already know the outcome – deprivation leads to cravings! Instead of being gentle about it, we emotionally beat ourselves up! The cycle repeats over and over, until we feel paralyzed, hopeless, and ashamed. What’s missing? Well, the key to real change begins with self-acceptance.

People who are really driven to succeed or reach goals (that’s many of us) can be exceptionally hard on themselves. They’re always on high alert and ready to banter and bruise themselves for something. It is like whacking yourself for every tiny error and at the same time expecting to feel happy. It’s not happening! And it’s definitely not self-accepting. So let’s stop the abuse first.

Underneath these unattractive habits we aspire to rid ourselves of are our emotions. They want to be shared and expressed, but most of us learned as young people that authority figures have opinions about our expressions. They shamed and criticized instead of opening their arms and offering love and empathy. So we figured out a way to keep emotions at bay. We developed bad habits that comforted us or distracted us from feeling.

So as I said in the beginning, we start with self-acceptance and that requires finding a safe place where we can express emotion. I suggest finding a professional–a therapist, coach, doctor, school counselor. Take that first step and you will feel these cravings/habits/impulses/addictions eased.

In short, when we feel, we heal. By Running away from difficult feelings, we run away from ourselves. So instead, we must find safe and healthy ways to express them. I invite you to take this step and experience a new sense of ease.

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