Guest Blog Post by Coach Debby
First, let’s think about the fact that whenever we are focused on a new intention, we are actually saying “YES” in our mind. We have, to some degree, made a decision to move forward.
Some of us have tried to say “yes” in the past to the very same thing that we are saying “YES” to today. So what will make the difference? How will we stand in the energy of “YES!” each day?
It’s no easy feat, but I suggest that each of us take time every morning to not only recall and be with our desire for at least 5 minutes, but also notice if in ANY way we are saying, “no,” and possibly blocking out intentions from manifesting.
I’ll give you an example: I said “YES” to this very same vision of writing for the public once before and I failed. Why? Because I was also saying “NO.” On the one hand, I said I wanted to write a blog and a book and offer it to the public. But that wasn’t totally accurate. I actually wanted to write a GREAT blog. Then it occurred to me that I might write a MAGNIFICENT book as well. I had somehow lost track of merely writing and enjoying the experience. I was no longer thinking about service. Instead, I allowed the voices in my head to turn the intention into a lofty expectation!
…And I did not discover these voices in just one sitting. You see, I was in a class and I had said “YES” to my intention of writing in front of the whole group. However, each night, alone and quiet in my little room, I heard nasty voices saying, “You are too busy to write,” and, “You really have too much unorganized material to ever create a magnificent book,” and, “You don’t have a good plan for your blog–all bloggers are good planners,” and, “You might piss off your family when you talk about them in your book,” and so on, and so on.
Truly, these messages were my “NO” voice and they were stepping all over my intention–writing for and serving the public–the one thing I THOUGHT I was saying “yes” to.
So, I failed. I finished the class, but I did not do my project. But some of the class participants, including the instructor, were curious what went wrong and asked if I’d talk about it in class. I had a profound experience sharing with them all the “no’s” that followed my “yes,” and how I caved in due to pressure. They really understood. They loved me in spite of my fears. They accepted me! And I realized “Ohhhhh! I am not accepting ME. That’s where I need to plant my ‘yes.’ I forgot to believe in ME!”
In essence, the group acted as a mirror so I could see that I quickly gave my power to the “no” voice and justified that the “yes” voice wasn’t that important. I was not accepting myself or believing in myself. I wanted a more balanced and false self to emerge, do all the work for me, and help me look good 
Heck, it made sense to me! But after experiencing the love from the group, it was clear that I was giving in to an old habit, so I cut off the supply of self-love whenever I sat down to write. I stopped all self-acceptance, all connection with my desires, all belief in my worth, and that brought up the loud, nasty, “no” voice.
So, with their love and understanding, I created some writing exercises to get myself back in the groove.
You, too, may have one or two or twenty “no” voices that are looking for a place to go. Instead of letting them guide your intention, try this little trick:
- Take a sheet of paper and create two columns.
- On the left side, write the word, “YES!” On the right side, write the word, “NO!”
- Now, on the left side, try to write your intention in one paragraph. Then skip a line or two and paraphrase that intention into one clear, succinct statement, such as “I have a desire to serve the public by writing a blog for my website and articles for magazines.”
- Carry this piece of paper with you everywhere until we meet on Tuesday. Any time you hear your mind saying any thing about your intention that resembles a “no,” take out your sheet of paper and write it down. Just write it. Don’t worry if it includes cussing or shaming thoughts–just put it on paper so you have a place (other than your mind) for that thought to be.
- After adding the “no” voice to the paper, say to yourself, “This (what you just wrote down) may seem true right now, but I accept myself anyway.” Say it to yourself, breathe, say it again, breathe, and let the charge you feel dissipate. Keep breathing until you feel neutral.
This exercise is good training for the mind because it teaches us that even when we get a little nutty, we do not have to go with our thoughts. We have permission to stay with our self–our truest self–who knows that we deserve unlimited permission to manifest our desired intention.
I practice this often! I wish I had the insight during my previous class to practice it, but I was too caught up in getting to my intention as quickly as possible. Failing helped me realize that whenever I have an intention, my nutty mind will have opinions, so I best practice self-acceptance. As Robert Holden said, “You can have self-acceptance or self-rejection, but not both at the same time. Which one will you pick?”
Try it out for yourself: Write down the “yes” column, carry your note, stop and write any “no” messages that come up, and practice defusing the charge so you may return to that place of self-acceptance and wholeness. This is where the real YES! lives.
Enjoy the journey,
Coach Debby
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