The healthy attachment to my very own life…


by Coach Debby

What does your day look like today? 

Go ahead, check out your calendar.  How many things must you get done?

Take a look at the week; have you penciled in time for yourself?

Do you know how to have time for YOU in the midst of a demanding schedule?

Some years ago, I learned that I was making time for everything and everyone, but I made no time for myself.  I told myself this little lie: since I am doing work I love, I don’t really need free time.

Like most of us, I needed a wake-up call to get in touch with needs, and it happened one Saturday afternoon while I was playing “slave” to my computer.

My good friend Yvonne called and wanted to go to yoga together, but I had not been in months, so I was afraid a vigorous class would torment my body.  I also heard from Tracy who reminded me I had not been to writing group lately.

She braced the blow with, “You just need to bring one new page of writing.” But they had already seen my last page months ago.  I could not remember when I last took time for my own writing.

And then that evening, I heard from my mom who wanted me to fly down for a visit – a mother and daughter retreat – but I could not foresee any time to make it happen.

My mind recalled a day with mom at Venice Beach — how was I going to make time for another great day?

I fell into a situational depression. 

How did I become this person who gets through the day of work and has no personal time?  How did I lose the healthy attachment to my very own life?

I loved my job – loved working with students – but the demand to keep up with the workload was huge.  I was spending 50 hours of my week at a computer.

This plan robbed me of evenings and weekends.  It robbed me of time for my health, hobbies, and happiness.  It robbed me of my most important relationships.

My commitment to my job was more like a commitment to a thief!  

Do you see this in your own life?  If so, I can tell you it just takes a moment to make a new decision.


Let yourself have a moment to make a shift. 

Sit down with a big, blank sheet of paper and chart out your life!  Figure out how you might stop “doing” your life, and instead, commit to “being” your life.  Where and when and how might you “be” with your work and family?  How might you “be” aware of your interests and enjoy time for them TODAY?

Start now.  Even if it means you only shift 30 minutes of “doing time” into “being time,” make it happen.  And watch yourself – you’ll get hooked, and you will continue to make more time for being.

Remember, this is your life.

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