Before Valentines Day, Do This…

sun-heart-autumn-leaf-39379By Coach Debby

… I invite you to check in with your heart.  Are you truly having an experience of your heart today?  Are you listening to what your heart wants and desires?

I’m not referring to your dear Valentine.

I am talking about your own experience of knowing you are a loveable human being.

Without that knowledge—without really feeling the love in your heart for your SELF –- you may be experiencing just your personality, the part of you who gets stuff done.

Dr. Robert Holden, spiritual teacher extraordinaire, often asks this question of his students:  “Who are you when you are not judging yourself?” 

Some people say, “I am happy.”  Some say, “I’m really connected to something bigger and I feel alive.”  Some say, “I am free.”

Most of us can relate.  We are hungry for a sense of connection.

From his simple question, I have come to understand I am not truly happy, connected, and free when I entertain judgmental thoughts.

These are the times when I am actually turning away from happiness and freedom and busying myself with tasks, looking deeply into paperwork for my smarts and into the canisters of vacuum cleaners for a lovely appearance.

If that’s not enough distraction from my heart, I might have to employ people.  I might have to expect them to show up in a way that makes me look good or to only bring out the side of me that is smart, not raw and vulnerable and real.

What if this person is my dear Valentine?

It is at this point that I can see with great clarity that I am merely keeping up appearances and resisting my own heart. 

Therefore, it is with diligence that I revisit the question often:  Who am I when I am not judging myself?

The truth is then revealed.  I am a vulnerable human being with a big heart.  To know and embrace my vulnerability is to know my own heart AND be in a good space to share it with another.

Vulnerability gives me access to my heart.  It allows me to feel alive!  It dismantles all judgment.

Ultimately, vulnerability sets up the potential for a fantastic date!

Happy Valentines Day, from my heart to yours.